I have read a lot of books, listened to a lot of podcasts, and have thought a lot about the best way to position my money to maximize my chances to retire early while not compromising the life I live today. This is not one-size-fits-all type of advice, but if you are someone who is interested in personal finance and are looking for strategies to follow, I hope this list helps you make decisions for what to do with your dollars.

In grade school there was a math concept called PEMDAS. It’s the order of operations for solving equations. Here’s what I believe to be the order of operations when it comes to maximizing your dollars with investment accounts when you are in your thirties.

Another way of looking at this is an alternative strategy to Dave Ramsey’s baby steps. Before I get into it, I generally agree with Dave Ramsey and his principles. There are some nuances I definitely disagree with, but in general if you need a strategy of something to do with your money that is as straightforward as possible, what he has going is solid. For people like me who have financial literacy, discipline to not go in debt, and is comfortable having a mortgage, I truly believe this is the best approach to managing your dollars.

1. Have an emergency fund.

This allows you to not think about paying your bills on time, and if you were to lose your job you could float some money until you find your next one.

Dave Ramsey will say have 3-6 months as cash for your emergency fund. The crazy thing about that is 3-6 months is a significant amount of variance. Is it 3 months? Or is it 6 months? The difference between those two amounts is huge.

My 2 cents are if you are a DINK (double income no kids) then you can probably get by with an emergency fund of 1-2 months. You have enough cash in your bank account to pay all your bills, fix your car, if you were to lose your job but your spouse keeps their job you will be fine until you find your next job.

On the other side of the extreme, if you are the sole earner in your household and you have a few children having 4 months in cash is probably a wise decision.

For me personally I would advise to have enough in cash so you can pay all of your bills and not think about moving money around. Then have enough in cash where you can sleep at night knowing life is always going to be uncertain (as I’m writing this our AC just broke) and you have cash ready to go for an unforeseen expense. Then have some money sitting in a brokerage account tracking some bonds (look at tickers: BND and SCHD for example) to top you off in the event you lost your job.

The ultimate goal of this first step: to have money in hand where you don’t have to think about the minutia of bills, broken appliances, and whatever else life might throw at you. Have enough in cash to pay the the bills and broken appliances. Then have your “whatever life throws at you” fund in something earning more than the negligible interest your checking account earns.

2. Contribute to your 401(k) up until your match

I’m not going to go into detail on this one. I trust you know what this means. Take the free money your employer gives you.

3. Eliminate your drag

Drag is anything holding you back from having your money work for you that is over X% of interest that you personally define as drag. For me, I say anything 6% or more is considered drag. Your parlay loving cousin might say its 10%. Your Dave Ramsey purist friend would say its anything above 0%.

Regardless of your definition, I’m talking specifically about credit card debt, car loans, student loans, personal loans, medical debt, etc. that exceeds your definition of drag.

Financial independence is a marathon. Having debt paying 6% or more of interest is like running the marathon with a parachute on your back. That doesn’t mean there won’t eventually be opportunities for you to go onto the next steps, but before you do it makes a lot more sense to eliminate your drag.

4. Max out your HSA

We are now entering into the tax advantaged account steps.

One of the most underrated investment strategies is opting into a high deductible health plan (HDHP) and opening a health savings account (HSA).

Employers will typically have an option for you to opt into an HDHP. The downside of an HDHP is that you have to hit your deductible before your employer helps alleviate your medical expenses. The upside is that you are eligible to create and contribute to an HSA.

An HSA that can be opened through your employer or another financial institution. In my opinion this is the greatest account you can invest in while you are in your 20s and 30s. In 2026 you are able to contribute $4,400 for an individual or $8,750 for a family. The design of this account is you can spend this money on qualified medical expenses. The list of what a qualified medical expense is very long, but think of things like knee surgeries, visits to the doctor, fillings at the dentist, deodorant, first aid kits. There are so many things that qualify.

The HSA has 3 things going for it that no other account has:

1. The dollars you put into it are not taxed

2. You are able to invest the dollars in the account and those dollars will grow tax free

3. You are able to withdraw the money for qualified medical expenses regardless of your age (more on this later) with no penalty

A really great strategy is to have an HSA, max out your contributions every year, and never withdrawal from it unless you absolutely need it. As you accrue medical expenses, you save your receipts and at any point you can sell your investments in the HSA and withdrawal the cash of that investment.

At the very least, have an HSA and pay for all your medical bills right away with pre-tax dollars to save ~25% off your bill. At the most, you have medical expenses and save your receipts. At some point (5 years from now or 25 years from now) your money will grow tax free. You can then sell your investment and pay yourself back and use that cash to do whatever you want. I love this strategy over a Roth, Traditional IRA, and 529 because your money is not taxed going into the account, you can withdrawal it at any point assuming you have saved the receipt of your medical expense, and it grows tax free.

5. Max out your Roth IRA

If you google “what is better, a Roth IRA or a Traditional IRA?” you will be hit with pages and pages of posts and articles.

The TLDR: a Roth IRA is better to contribute to today if you anticipate your tax bracket to be higher in retirement than it is today. A traditional IRA is better if you anticipate your tax bracket to be lower in retirement than it is today.

The hardest part of knowing the answer to this is we know what the tax brackets are today. We have no clue what they will be in 30 years. So just in case, we should probably put money in both. In terms of this post, I think tax brackets are going to go up in 30 years which is why I’m prioritizing this as step #5 instead of the Traditional IRA.

A Roth IRA is an investment account where you contribute after tax dollars. Your investment will grow, and when you are 59 ½ you are able to sell those investments and put them into your bank account as cash.

The Roth IRA has 2 things going for it and two things going against it verse the HSA:

Bad thing - You deposit after tax dollars

Bad thing – you can’t get the money as cash until you are 59 1/2.

Good thing – It grows tax free so whatever money you make on your investments is yours to sell without any taxes

Good thing - You get taxed at the tax bracket you are at today. This offsets some risk of not knowing the tax brackets in 30 years.

In 2026 you are able to contribute $7,500 if you’re under 50 and $8,600 if you’re 50 or over.

Personally, I like investing in a Roth IRA over a 401(k) with a Roth option. The difference is with a Roth IRA, you have way more options of funds to invest in. IE – you can put it in a specific stock, a fund from Schwab, a fund from Vanguard, a fund from Fidelity. If you invest in your companies 401(K) that has a Roth option, you are limited to your companies’ financial broker’s set of funds.

6. Contribute to your 401(k) & 529

If you’ve made it this far you are probably wondering, what happened to the PEMDAS? You just threw like 2 things in one operation.

Up until this point I am pretty passionate that the order is set in stone. Once you get to this point, you have some choices to make. I am going to list 2 things that you have to personally prioritize based on your own psychology and family values. If you have an emergency fund, are contributing up to your match, have eliminated all drag, maxed out an HSA, and maxed out a Roth IRA then you are sitting incredibly strong financially. This is now the zone where you need to do what serves you the most. For me personally, I would do a combination of these 2 things.

Contribute to your 401(k) - specifically a Traditional IRA

You can’t go wrong putting remaining dollars into your 401(k). I like putting this amount in the Traditional IRA to offset the risk of future tax brackets with the Roth IRA in step 5. The Traditional IRA has the following characteristics:

• Uses pre-tax dollars

• Can be withdrawn at 59 1/2

• All gains are going to be taxed

I like it more than a general brokerage account because its a tax advantaged account.

Contribute to a 529

If you have children and would like to pay for all or part of college it is wise to set up a 529 and contribute to it. We talked about this at length in issue #44. Do not feel like you need to max out the 529, but this should be a place to drop some dollars each month. The 529 has the following characteristics:

• Uses after tax dollars

• Grows tax free

• Can be used on educational expenses and all remaining money will be converted to a Roth IRA for your child

7. Create a Bridge Account

If you are doing every step prior to this one in your 30s, the idea of retiring prior to 59 ½ (when you can withdrawal from your Roth IRA and Traditional IRA) is a very real option. So this step is really continuing to maximize your retirement savings while at the same time creating a path where you are able to retire early and have money to spend without penalties of withdrawing early from your retirement accounts.

This is basically a brokerage account where you manage buying/selling of stocks and indexes. It is not labeled “bridge account” by the financial institution. For me personally this is the lowest of priority in this list hence why it is step 7. But at the same time, it is something I am keeping in the back of my mind.

Creating a bridge account is step 7 for the following reasons:

• It will use pre-tax dollars

• It will be able to be withdrawn without penalty at the age of 59 1/2.

• Your gains on taxes and dividends will have to be paid when they are recognized

The best advice I can give is to invest in an ETF that tracks some form of the market. Some of my favorite ETFs are ticker names: SPY, IVE, SPYD, and QQQ. Its not as flashy as a cryptocurrency, a hot stock like Nvidia, but these are going to be mindless investments that have a track record of growing in time with minimal expense ratios.

What Do I Do With This?

My encouragement to you is to determine if you agree with this order? If not, what is your order of personal finances? If you agree or don’t know what your order would be, follow this plan and I promise you that it will work for you. The most important thing though is to define where you are at within a plan, set a direction, talk to your spouse about it, and then execute.

Your thirties are a time where you have a lot of runway ahead of you, yet you aren’t fresh out of school. Taking some time to set a direction for your finances is one of the best uses of time. -SW

Anticipated FAQs:

1. What about rental properties?

Brooke and I bought a rental property in 2021 when we were DINKs. Rates were low, we had some extra cash, and it was a goal we had. I am intentionally leaving rental properties out of the above list due to current interest rates.

Since having it for the last 5.5 years, I think it has been a net positive! With that being said, I am now in an era where I prioritize my time. My Roth IRA has never called me that the hot water heater broke, the sewer lines are backing up, and mice were in the pantry.

I do think rental properties are great investments, but the math has to work. I’ll probably write more about this in the future but for now I would prioritize with the bridge account. The only way I would prioritize it higher is if you are in an area where rents can cash flow $300 or a month at the time of closing.

2. What about crypto, shorting stocks, and trying to beat the market

I’ve been investing for over 10 years now. At first I tried to beat the market thinking I had something magic. I can confidently tell you that the vast majority of your money should 100% be in a diversified ETF or mutual fund. There have been so many studies to say it is very hard to be the market for a single year. And of those who can do it, they are unable to beat the market for multiple consecutive years.

The mindset I have is aligned with Morgan Housel where in his book, “The Psychology of Money” he says, “I am a passive investor optimistic in the world’s ability to generate real economic growth. I’m confident over the next 30 years that growth will accrue to my investments.”

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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I am, by default, a comfort-seeking person.

I like routines, and I like knowing what’s coming. I like the feeling at the end of a hard week when the house is quiet and I can sit down without anything being asked of me. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if I’m being honest, comfort had become something I was quietly organizing my life around—keeping things at a temperature I could easily manage, keeping the unexpected at arm’s length.

Then we became foster parents.

We chose to become foster parents, but nothing prepares you for what that actually means. Within the span of about fourteen months, we went from two kids to four: a 9-month-old boy, and a 9-year-old girl, half-siblings. They arrived on different timelines, with different needs, and with histories that were not ours to rewrite. The chaos was real. It was a 2 a.m. feeding on a Tuesday after a hard conversation with a caseworker, while my four-year-old was sick and my wife and I were running on fumes. It was being in the hospital for almost a month with the baby as we learned he was medically fragile and needed medical intervention. Comfortable life wasn’t an option. There was no version of the situation where I could engineer my way back to baseline.

That’s when I started thinking about the difference between just surviving something and actually growing from it.

As fathers, resilience is what most of us are striving toward. You take the hit, whatever your stressor or offense may be. You absorb it, and then you return to who you were before. But there’s another option, one where the stress doesn’t just get absorbed, it builds something. Where you come out of the hard thing stronger than you went in. Similar to how the immune system works: a little exposure doesn’t weaken you, it trains you. The same logic applies to the hard seasons of life, even when you didn’t sign up for them.

As I mentioned before, we didn’t know what we were getting into, at least to what extent, before we dove into it. But that’s actually a good thing for me because if I did know, I probably wouldn’t have signed up. And some of what it’s building in me, I couldn’t have built on purpose. There is a kind of callus you only develop through repeated friction.

I am more patient than I was. Not because I practiced patience in the abstract, but because I had no other option—and over time, the forced repetition of it became something more like a reflex. I’m more compassionate and willing to understand where people are coming from without judgement. My threshold for what counts as a crisis has shifted. Things that would have derailed us two years ago now just get folded into the day.

What separates dads who grow from the hard seasons from the dads who just endure them? I don’t think it’s capacity, and I don’t think it’s temperament either. I think it’s mostly a question of awareness. Are you present and aware in the midst of trial?

Enduring it looks like this:
You get through the hard stretch, you exhale, and you immediately start looking for ways to make sure it doesn’t happen again. You optimize for fewer hard seasons in the future. The experience becomes something to recover from.

Growing looks like this:
At some point in the middle of the chaos, or maybe just after it, you ask what it’s doing to you. What did that require of me that I didn’t have before? What did I figure out under pressure that I wouldn’t have figured out otherwise? Ask the questions plainly, without pretense, and see what comes up. Most dads coming out of a hard stretch feel like they lost ground. The answers to those questions are evidence that the opposite is true: the season was building you the whole time, even when it felt like it was only costing you.

If you’re in a hard season right now—and a lot of dads are, whether that’s visible chaos or the quieter kind—I’m not going to tell you to reframe it or lean in or find the gift inside the struggle because that’s not how this works. But at some point it’s worth asking what it’s building. In my experience, the answer is a better version of yourself you couldn’t have constructed on purpose. -KC

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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When I did my research I came across several Reddit threads, talked to a few friends, and did some back/forth with ChatGPT, and then my insurance company. If you find yourself in this situation talk to your insurance to confirm these expenses will be covered with health insurance. Most of these can be done without a PCP referral, but some places do require a PCP referral to be able to book an appointment or have insurance pay their portion of the appointment.

For this week’s Dadvice, here are some appointments to consider making if you have hit your deductible with almost half the year left. -SW

Go to a Dermatologist for Skin Exam

I have never had a skin exam. I wasn’t nervous about getting one, but I just felt like it took a lot of coordination so I kept putting it off. I was able to do this without a doctor referral. I got an appointment and my reasoning was I wanted to set a baseline for my skin so if there were concerns in the future I had something to compare it to.

Overall it was a great experience. Super easy. Took about 20 minutes from the time I got to the office to the time I got back in my car.

Go to Physical Therapy

In 2015 I dislocated my knee and had surgery. In 2018 I dislocated my knee again, tore some ligaments, and had another surgery. In the last 8 years my knee has felt strong, but it has some crunch to it when I bend it. When we hit our deductible I knew physical therapy could be something beneficial to at least have someone look at it and give me some updated exercises.

I have gone once a week for the last 4 weeks. I am going 2 more times in the next 2 weeks. This has been a great experience because when I started they took several measurements of both legs. In one of the measurements the strength in my surgically repaired knee was 70% of the strength of my other knee. They assured me this is fairly normal and as time goes on we tend to subconsciously favor the non-surgical leg when we go upstairs/downstairs, have to bend down, or stand up from sitting on the floor. As time goes on its pretty common for variance in strength, but a healthy target is 90% strength.

They have since given me some exercises that have been helpful. My 2 cents to anyone reading this - if you had surgery in college (or early 20s) I would hit physical therapy to get measurements. If you need some exercises they’ll give them to you. We made a plan together to go once a week for 6 weeks but I could have just done the measurements, gotten the exercises, and called it good with the PT clinic. Just make sure to bring water because it was way harder this time than I ever remember in college and at 23. No referral was needed for me.

Go to an Allergist

I remember in college realizing I had really bad allergies. Since then I have tried all sorts of over the counter solutions. They work well, but I will still be sneezing if I’m outside.

Something I did was go to an allergist for an allergy test. What they did for the test is have ~80 types of allergies to test you for. The process is you lay on a table and the nurse makes a grid on your back. She then pokes with you with every type of allergy. It wasn’t a shot, but it was a little piece of plastic. It didn’t hurt but if you’re allergic it gets really itchy. They make you lay there for 15 minutes, come back in, then measure the size of the hive to determine if you are allergic and to what magnitude.

After that there are a few routes you can go. You can go in for consistent allergy shots to build immunity, you can get access to stronger medication than what is over the counter, or you can do nothing. They also gave me the advice to download the app, Allergy Plus where you can track the allergies happening in your area. At the very least check the app and take over the counter medication on the days where allergies are forecasted higher than others. A referral was needed for this.

Go to a Chiropractor

If you have back or neck pain a chiropractor could be a good option for you to try. There are so many chains and private practices in our area and I bet there will be in your area too. Find someone with good reviews and go there.

For me specifically, I have gone to someone who does an adjustment, micro needling, and massage with the goal to reduce inflammation and pain. I view the chiropractor as a reactive tool to heal, but to fix the real root issue of the pain you need to look elsewhere. Overall, if you’ve hit your deductible, I think its still a helpful stop to make if you need pain reduction for neck or back. Just don’t expect it to permanently fix the root issue.

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

Subscribe now

The oil change that broke me was $122.

I pulled the van in for a routine service and handed over my card without thinking too hard about it. Four kids, a packed schedule, and I just wanted it done. But on the drive home, something about the expense bothered me. It was a basic oil change. The kind of thing that, mechanically speaking, is about as complicated as making a pot of coffee. And I had just paid $122 for it.

That was the moment I decided to start figuring out my own cars, at least what I was reasonably capable of figuring out.

Both of ours have over 100,000 miles on them. They’re older, they need attention, and they are going to keep needing attention for as long as we drive them. Paying someone else to do every single thing that goes wrong is a financial strategy I can no longer justify.

A few months after that oil change, I took the Forester in for a tire rotation. The mechanic pulled me back to show me the lower control arm bushings that were worn out and cracking. His quote for parts and labor was just over $1,000. I thanked him, drove home, and typed “lower control arm bushing replacement Subaru Forester” into YouTube.

A weekend and maybe $180 in parts later, the job was done. I won’t pretend it was easy or that I wasn’t second-guessing myself the whole time. But it was done, it was done correctly, and I had just saved the better part of a thousand dollars.

That repair really shifted my perspective on car repairs. Since then I’ve replaced the intake manifold gaskets, done a full brake and rotor job, replaced ball joints, spark plugs, and started doing my own oil changes. What I’ve learned from these projects and research is that about eight tools and $350 covers roughly 80% of the maintenance and light repair work you can perform on your car at home.

What Tools Do I Need?

Before I get to the list, a few things I’m assuming you already have: a basic socket and ratchet set, a set of combination wrenches, and a screwdriver set in a few sizes. If you’ve done any home repair over the years, these are probably already in a drawer somewhere. If not, they’re cheap and easy to find at any hardware store, a Habitat ReStore, or a thrift shop.

Also worth covering before anything else: the basics that should be in place before you get under any car. Safety glasses, nitrile gloves, shop rags, a can of PB Blaster, and a tarp to lay under the vehicle. None of this is expensive. I buy nitrile gloves in bulk at Big R, 100 black gloves for around $7.

Lift equipment ($80-150). A floor jack and jack stands are the price of admission for any job that requires getting under the car. I’d tell you not to cut corners here more than anywhere else on this list. Buy rated equipment, use it on flat concrete, chock the wheels, and do a firm shake test before you slide underneath. Floor jacks and stands go on sale at Harbor Freight regularly and show up constantly on Facebook Marketplace. Budget around $200 for all new equipment, or about half that used.

OBD2 scan tool ($25-100). Before you take your car to a shop or start panicking about a warning light, plug one of these in. It reads the trouble code your car is throwing and tells you what the problem actually is. Half the time it points to something simple. In my experience a $15 scanner on Amazon is all you’ll ever need — you don’t have to spend $100 to get useful information out of it. This one tool has saved me several unnecessary shop visits.

Multimeter ($15-35). Most people don’t think about electrical diagnosis until something goes wrong and they have no idea where to start. A basic digital multimeter fixes that. It checks battery health, tests alternator output, traces fuses, and helps you track down parasitic drains that kill your battery overnight. They run $15–$35 and are useful well beyond cars once you own one. Buy a cheap one. It will work fine.

Pliers ($20-45). You need more than one kind. Needle-nose for tight spaces, slip-joint for general grip, Vise-Grips for holding or persuading things that don’t want to move, and diagonal cutters for wire work. I bought a pair of Channellock needle-nose pliers five years ago and use them almost every day for something. I also keep a small set of jeweler’s pliers in the toolbox for miscellaneous reaching in spots where nothing else fits. They’re cheap and earn their keep constantly.

Torque wrench & sockets ($30-60). Over-tightening a bolt causes just as many problems as under-tightening one. A torque wrench lets you hit the spec your vehicle requires — which matters on lug nuts, brake caliper brackets, and anything structural. Get a 1/2-inch drive click-style wrench in the 30–150 ft-lb range, and pick up a dedicated set of 1/2-inch sockets to go with it. The click tells you when you’ve hit the number. Stop there.

1/2” Breaker bar ($20-40). Some bolts have been on your car for ten years or more and they are not coming off with a ratchet. A long 1/2-inch breaker bar gives you the mechanical advantage to break them loose without burning out a tool or your wrist. It’s especially useful for lug nuts and anything on the undercarriage that’s been exposed to rust and road salt. Use it to crack the bolt free, then switch to the ratchet to finish the job.

Hook & pick set ($10-20). These sets look like dental tools and work like magic in an engine bay. The most common use is depressing the plastic locking tabs on electrical connectors without snapping them off, something fingers and screwdrivers both fail at regularly. They’re also useful for fishing out old O-rings, gaskets, and wire clips from places you can’t reach any other way. A four-piece set with straight, 45-degree, 90-degree, and full hook profiles covers most situations.

Rubber/dead blow mallet ($10). A regular hammer will damage whatever you hit it with. A rubber or dead blow mallet transfers force without leaving marks, which matters when you’re seating a rotor, convincing a stuck component loose, or tapping something into place that isn’t quite aligned. You will reach for this more often than you’d expect. They run $10–$20 and take up almost no space in a toolbox.

Nice to Haves

These are things you don’t have to have, but will make your jobs much easier if you do.

Impact driver ($150-200). Not required, but once you have one you’ll wonder how you got along without it. An impact driver makes fast work of rusty bolts and large fasteners that would otherwise destroy your wrists and your patience. The important thing: use it to break bolts loose and run them down quickly, then finish with the torque wrench. Don’t use an impact driver to final-tighten anything that has a torque spec.

Magnetic parts tray ($5). I genuinely cannot believe I went as long as I did without one of these. When you’re mid-job with greasy hands, having a magnetic bowl to drop bolts, clips, and small hardware into means you don’t spend twenty minutes hunting a 10mm across a concrete floor. They’re $5–$15. Buy one for the garage and one for the toolbox.

Headlamp ($10). Both hands free, light goes exactly where you’re looking. Under a hood or under a car you will use this on every single job. A cheap LED headlamp from Amazon works perfectly fine — you don’t need to spend much. It is one of those tools that seems obvious in retrospect and makes you wonder how you managed without it before.

The pattern I keep coming back to is the same one I see everywhere in dad life: the barrier to doing something yourself is almost always lower than it looks from the outside. The $1,000 bushing job that turned into a $180 weekend. The $122 oil change that I now do myself for $30 in forty minutes.

The tools are an upfront cost, but the knowledge is free on YouTube, and the savings compound every time you use either one. -KC

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

Subscribe now

As this was going on we were catching up with friends and the inevitable question comes up, “So what have you guys been doing lately?” Its funny that in your 20’s I think that question can genuinely yield unlimited options of answers. Depending on the weekend in my life I could have told you about one of many weddings coming up in Texas, a bachelor party where I flew somewhere for, maybe Brooke and I had a trip for the two of us to a cool place.

As I answer the question now, my answers were “well, we hung up some bookshelves yesterday. Went to the nursery and I planted a couple plants in the front yard. I ordered some new water filters for the fridge on Amazon. We got some new glass cutting boards. Have you heard of microplastics?”

I have since left the party and am writing this up. The beautiful thing about life is I love this stage. I love Summer time in Colorado. There’s no place I would rather be and its so refreshing and restoring to be outside doing whatever. Here are some of the things we have found useful in this time where we kick off Summer. -SW

Step2 Water Table & Pump

A routine we are falling into right now is after getting off of work I spend time with MK. MK and I go to the backyard, she walks around, and eventually gets to her water table.

If you have a child 10/10 get this thing. She loves playing with it. Its fun watching her play with it. And buy this $10 pump with it so there’s consistently water dripping down the little water fall feature. This is such a hit with her. -SW

National Park Hack: Every Kid Outdoors Progam

If you have a kid in fourth grade, there’s an awesome federal program called Every Kid Outdoors that gets your family into national parks completely free. We put it to the test this past weekend when we took the kids out to Great Sand Dunes National Park. Our foster daughter just wrapped up fourth grade, and using her pass saved us the $25 entrance fee at the gate.

Signing up is a really easy. Go to the website, have your kid complete a 5-minute online activity, and print out the physical paper voucher. (The park rangers need the actual printout, but you might get lucky with a screenshot on a phone like we did.)

When you roll up to the entrance gate, hand the ranger the voucher, and they’ll swap it for a plastic pass your child gets to use all summer and keep as a keepsake. The pass covers your fourth grader and everyone in your vehicle at more than 2,000 national parks, forests, and wildlife refuges nationwide. The current pass runs through August 31st. -KC

Summer Beer Recipe

When we lived in Dallas one of our favorite places to go to was the Katy Trail Ice House. Hands down the best thing on that menu was called Summer Beer. On their website they advertise it as Blue Moon, lemon vodka, and lemonade. I’ve been working on a copy cat of it and think I have something pretty close.

Pour ~8 ounces of Blue Moon into a glass. Pour about an ounce of lemon vodka. Pour 2 ounces of lemonade. Pour the rest of the Blue Moon in. Pour half an ounce of lemon vodka. Then top it off with a splash of lemonade. Give it a stir. Its a great drink that screams summertime. -SW

Just for Dad: Drip Line Hack

Over the weekend I planted two plants. I then got to the part that I have always hated on planting which is getting the drip line set up. The specific part I have hated is trying to get the tubing to connect to the plastic connector. The tubing is so stiff by design to ensure there aren’t leaks when the drip line is working, but its a pain to set up the connection.

I came across a tip online that said to use a blow dryer to warm up the tubing. Once its warm, its significantly more malleable to make the connection to the plastic connector. I gave this a try and it was so easy. I’ll be doing this every time moving forward. -SW

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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Here’s what we’d recommend to anyone thinking about opening one.

Have a conversation with your spouse first

Before opening an account, figure out what you’re actually trying to accomplish. Do you want to cover all of school? Half? Are you just trying to take the edge off student loans so your kid doesn’t start their adult life buried in debt? There isn’t a right answer, but there should be alignment between the two of you, because every answer has lifestyle implications. Saving for college means choosing not to spend that money somewhere else. It also helps to think through what the next 18 years might realistically look like before you decide on a number.

Do both parents plan to keep working? Is there a chance one stays home for a stretch? Will you stay in your current house? None of it needs to be perfectly mapped out, but having a rough framework makes the savings number feel a lot less arbitrary.

Open an account and keep it simple

Simplicity wins here. You don’t need to spend a lot of time picking investments or trying to outperform the market. Whether you’re invested in something that tracks the S&P 500, NASDAQ, or another broadly diversified index, you’re essentially betting on long-term market growth. For most families, that’s enough.
Resist the urge to overthink it.

If your state offers a tax benefit, take it. In Colorado, CollegeInvest allows contributions to be deducted from state taxable income. It’s not a life-changing number, but free money is worth taking every time.

Start small

A reasonable rule of thumb is that every dollar contributed during your child’s first year of life could become roughly $3 to $4 by the time they turn 18. The closer you get to college, the less time compound growth has to work. That math is pretty motivating when you think about it early enough.

If you’re new to saving, start small. Twenty-five dollars a month may feel like nothing, but it builds the habit, and it gives those dollars time to grow. The account doesn’t care that it started small.

Once you land on an amount, automate it. Don’t rely on remembering. Don’t wait for extra money to show up at the end of the month, because it usually doesn’t. Set it, forget it, and let the system run.

Loop in the grandparents

This one doesn’t get mentioned enough. Grandparents and extended family can contribute directly to a 529, and in some states those contributions are also state tax deductible. More practically: between birthdays and Christmas, the amount of stuff coming through the front door adds up fast. At some point the grandparents run out of ideas anyway. Redirecting even some of that toward a 529 is a gift that actually compounds over time, which is more than you can say for another set of Duplos. Sending a quick family update on where the accounts stand once or twice a year makes the whole thing feel like a shared effort rather than something you’re grinding through alone.

Know what happens if they don’t use it

A lot of people hesitate to open a 529 because they worry the money gets stuck if their kid ends up not going to college. The SECURE 2.0 Act changed this. Unused 529 funds can now roll into a Roth IRA for the beneficiary, up to a lifetime limit. The money isn’t trapped, and knowing that makes it a lot easier to commit to opening one in the first place.

A note for foster parents

You can open a 529 for children in your foster care, and the accounts allow you to change the beneficiary if circumstances change down the road. It’s one small way to invest in a child’s future while they’re in your home, and it costs nothing to set up.

The bottom line

Save as much as you reasonably can while your kids are young. There will always be a vacation, a house project, or a car competing for those dollars. That’s as true today as it will be 16 years from now.

The best time to start was the day your child was born. The second best time is today.

That’s our take. -SW & KC

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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This advice is coming from my experience going from zero kids to one. If you are adding a second or third child, your experience will likely look very different.

How to Navigate Your Paid Leave?

I took a quick survey amongst friends whose wives are pregnant. I got a range from 6 weeks to 10 weeks of paid leave. But I also know from other friends that there are organizations and states that offer little to no paternity leave.

A non-negotiable I would set (regardless of what your company offers) is to take at least two weeks.

It would be really hard to become a father and go back to work in less time than that. I understand not everyone is given paternity leave and not everyone has a generous PTO plan. But you have about nine months to prepare. Save your days. Plan ahead. Do what you need to do to make that time happen.

From there, if you have more generous options, you have a decision to make.

If your company has paternity leave, take it all at once.
In my case, I was able to take about 14 weeks between state benefits, my company’s plan, and some PTO. Going into it, I thought 14 weeks would feel long. It did not.

It flew by.

Your entire life changes overnight. You are learning how to care for your wife, care for your child, and function on broken sleep at the same time. Having uninterrupted time to settle into that new reality is a gift.

Some of my most meaningful moments were the simplest ones. Being up at 2 a.m. with my daughter and being able to tell my wife to keep sleeping, knowing I did not have to turn around and perform at work the next morning.

If you have the option, do not feel like you need to spread it out or save some for later.

That said, there is one scenario where I would think differently.
If childcare coverage is a challenge, a split approach can make a lot of sense.

For example:

• Take the first stretch of leave in tandem with your spouse

• Go back to work while your wife finishes her leave

• Then take your remaining leave once she returns to work

This can extend the amount of time your child is at home before needing childcare. Just make sure your company allows for this kind of flexibility.

Whatever you do, do not leave time on the table.
There is often a quiet guilt that creeps in while you are out. Your team is working and people are covering for you.

I felt that too. But the truth is that time will pass whether you take it or not. And this is time you will never get back. If your state offers paid leave, remember that you are paying into that system. It exists for moments like this.

Also I have never heard of anyone getting promoted and a factor of it was that they were a big company guy and came back from paternity leave early. Take the time you’re given.

Set your team up well, then fully step away.

Before you’re out communicate your expectations. Here are some ideas to consider:

• Take an inventory of what you own. Think through who will be the temporary owner of this? Empower that person to make decisions and continue driving progress. Think of this as delegating ownership, not delegating some tasks in the next few weeks.

• Document anything you can think of. I like creating a word doc with specific sections. It is an open document to put items in as you get closer to being out of office. It will never be “done” but you can continuously include information and context so someone can reference it while you’re out.

• Align with your manager on expectations. How often do you expect to talk to your manager while out? Is there any reason where you would find a text from your manager to be useful with something happening at work? If so, tell your manager those expectations.

If you set your team up for success it will be a win-win. You will be out with confidence that they have what they need. They will be thankful for the effort you took to provide the necessary clarity so they can step in.

But once you are out, you are out.

Once You Are on Leave

Your primary role is more supporting your wife and less supporting the baby
I remember thinking how worthless I was as soon as the baby was delivered. Doctors and nurses come in to care for you and your baby while you sit there trying to figure out how to swaddle the baby. Then you get sent home and the baby literally needs your wife to survive. You’re just the +1 in the survival process. Here’s some tips I wish someone shared with me of ways to add value:

Gatekeep the House

Having a meal train is such a blessing. If you are lucky enough where one is set up for y’all be the owner of managing drop offs and what visitation will look like. I think there are 3 categories for visitation.

1. All access - they come in, they hang out with you, they hold the baby

2. Limited access - they come in but its not really a hang out. Maybe they hold the baby but we’re talking like ~15 minutes of overlap

3. Contactless delivery - Door dash style where they just leave food at the door

It might sound crazy but not everyone needs to be all access. Also not everyone wants to have all access. That’s not an indication of the quality of friendship with them nor an ingrateful gesture. The truth is there’s going to be some days where someone has snagged a spot on the meal train and the day really sucked. You’re exhausted, your spouse is exhausted, and the thought of someone coming over for an hour just doesn’t sound as good as it did prior to the baby arriving. Deliver the information in a courteous way and tell them you look forward to the next chance you get to hang out.

A great question to ask your spouse the morning of the meal train is, “Hey [insert name]’s slot is today. How are we feeling? I would like to text them to set expectations for the meal delivery.”

Take ownership. Do not “help”
If you see something that should be done just go ahead and do it. Before the baby was born your chore list was probably something like pick up things off the floor, vacuum, unload the dishes, wipe the counters, and fold the clothes. Once the baby is born, those things still need to happen but you also need to do things like clean the bottles, take out the diaper trash bag, clean and put away the baby clothes.

Just in general, you are the best candidate to do those things. Try your best to not have a story of you doing something dumb when your wife is freshly postpartum.

Be where your feet are
This window is short and unrepeatable. Be present for the slow mornings, the middle of the night feeds, and the quiet, ordinary moments.

What to Do When There’s Down Time?

I am intentionally including this section at the end. Everything above this section is your priority, but something did surprise me. At first your baby eats every 3 hours and naps most of the time in between. I did not expect that. There were still tough moments where I felt exhausted, but there were also some moments of downtime where I wanted to do something around the house.

Have one or two flexible projects in mind.
Not something that requires long, uninterrupted hours. Something you can pick up and put down.

For me, that ended up being installing cabinets in our laundry room. I did not plan it, but once I realized I had the time I went for it.

It was not about being productive for the sake of it. I was already showing up where it mattered most. But I did feel that natural itch during quieter moments when everyone was sleeping or the baby was happy.

Find something that is easy to start and stop because you will have plenty of starts and stops. Some good ideas could be: small house project, reading a book you’ve been putting off, organizing part of your house, or learning something new in small bursts.

The one caveat I would say is you are going to be really busy with your wife and baby. So don’t do something that will take too much time away from that.

Closing Thoughts

Expect it to be harder than you think.
Sleep deprivation is real. Emotions can run high. Routines disappear.

Do not interpret difficulty as failure. It is part of the process. Stay steady. Stay patient. Lower the bar on everything except being present and supportive.

Build simple rhythms, not perfect routines.
You will not have control, but you can create small anchors:

• Morning coffee and a check-in together

• Tag-teaming when to take naps

• A quick evening reset

Rhythms bring stability without pressure.

This season is short, but it is foundational.

How you show up now sets a tone for your marriage, your role as a dad, and how your family handles future seasons. You do not have to be perfect. Just be present, proactive, and all in. -SW

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

Subscribe now

Consulting AI for a Second Opinion

Last month I picked up the soil test Skyler recommended a few issues back. My yard has been slow to come in this spring and I wanted to understand why. The results came back along with a set of product recommendations from the testing company, which happened to include several fertilizers they also sell. Something about that felt worth questioning, so I uploaded the full results to Gemini and asked for an independent read. The assessment came back pointing in the different direction. My soil wasn’t depleted but was showing signs of being over-fertilized, and the recommendation was to hold off on any product, focus on water saturation, and add lime as a supplement. Lime runs a few dollars. The company’s recommendations were closer to $80. The company wasn’t being dishonest, but they had a reason to sell me something. Using AI to get a second opinion cost me nothing and likely saved my lawn. –KC

YouTube for Small Appliance Repair

Before you call a repair service or start shopping for a replacement, it’s always worth spending twenty minutes on YouTube first. I’ve gone this route with our espresso machine, a sprinkler valve, and most recently a dishwasher that had stopped drying. In each case I found a video of someone working through the exact problem on a near exact model, filmed clearly and explained well. The dishwasher repair that would have cost well over $100 in labor took me about 90 minutes and a $35 part from Amazon. The approach is pretty consistent regardless of the appliance: search the make, model, and symptom together, find the video with the most views, watch it all the way through before you touch anything, and then work slowly. Pro Tip: If you’re trying to identify a specific part or track down something obscure, AI can help you get to a part number faster than digging through a manual or a parts diagram. –KC

AI as a Financial Sounding Board

I’ve found AI to be a genuinely useful thinking partner for financial questions I’d otherwise leave unanswered or have to pay someone to walk me through. Questions like how additional HSA contributions affect adjusted gross income, strategic retirement planning, or even budget questions. I tend to use it less for definitive answers and more for orientation, trying to understand a topic well enough to ask sharper questions when I sit down with someone who actually manages money for a living. –KC

AI for Curating Packing Lists

If you tell AI where you’re going, how many days you’ll be there, what you plan to do, and how old your kids are, it will generate a baseline working packing list in under a minute that would have taken me a solid hour to pull together from memory. The more valuable habit, though, is what happens after the trip. Save the list somewhere accessible, whether that’s in your phone notes, a google doc, etc. and edit it when you get home while everything is still fresh. Add what you forgot. Remove what you packed and never touched. After two or three trips the list starts to reflect how your family travels. Most important note: “do not forget the sound machine.” We have learned that lesson more than once. –KC

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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At all times there are layers of awareness and intent:

1. People who have no idea who you are,

2. People who know you exist but aren’t customers

3. People who are customers but only lightly engaged

4. People in the small group that is fully bought into a brand or company.

There’s more nuance to it than that, but that framing works. Companies are obsessed with moving you down that funnel and they do it in a few predictable ways.

The first is simple: awareness. Big spending on brand visibility so you recognize them before you ever need them. Think NFL sponsorships like Patrick Mahomes or Travis Kelce showing up in State Farm ads, or podcast ad reads for things like Rhoback or BetterHelp. The goal isn’t immediate action, it’s familiarity. So when the moment comes they’re already in your head.

The second is the “bridge” into becoming a customer. This is where lead magnets show up in full force. Discounts, promo codes, free trials, welcome offers. Something that lowers the barrier just enough to get you to say yes for the first time. Because once you’re in, even lightly, the relationship changes.

From there, the funnel gets more interesting. Rewards programs, loyalty tiers, email lists, cross-sell campaigns. Not all of it is aggressive, but all of it is intentional. The goal is always the same: increase depth of engagement over time.

And once you start paying attention, you realize something else: if you’re looking for a deal, you will usually find one. There is almost always a discount floating around. But that discount is rarely just generosity. It’s an entry point into a system designed to keep you engaged, re-engaged, and retargeted over time.

As a consumer, this part has become fun for me. I love a good welcome offer. I love trying something new with a discount attached. I love when a brand I already like gives me a reason to try more of what they do. Done well, it feels like a win-win. You get to explore something new at lower risk, and the company gets a real shot at earning your attention.

That’s the key distinction: when it’s done well, it feels like discovery, not pressure.

With that in mind, here are some of the best welcome offers we’ve come across recently, and our honest take on them. -SW

Fabletics

During Black Friday of 2024 Fabletics hit me with an Instagram ad saying 80% off 8 items. I had known what Fabletics was, but had never bought any items from them. I felt like for 80% off it was worth a shot. I read the fine print, it felt legit, and all I had to do was cancel in the first few days of January and I was in the clear.

I can’t remember the full haul but I got several pairs of pants for golf/work and some work out clothes. I ended up canceling right when I was supposed to (more on that in a future issue), and it was overall a win-win. If anyone cares, I like my Lululemon pants more but if I ever see this deal or a similar deal ran by Fabletics again I’ll probably go for it. -SW

Costco

There’s always a deal for a new Costco membership. Over the years I have seen just a straight cheaper membership rate or a membership that comes with a gift card to offset the fee. Just googling it right now, here’s a Groupon for 1 year membership + $45 digital card. -SW

Meal Kit Services

Hello Fresh and Blue Apron always have 50% for new customers going. During the pandemic we tried Blue Apron and it was solid. We haven’t continued on with it, but it was a service I was genuinely interested in. I feel like its something to try if you haven’t tried it before (even if its only for the trial period). -SW

Texas Roadhouse (Free Ribs!)

A lot of places love pulling out the extra stops for first time guests, to give them a well-rounded experience and to try the things that will keep you coming back. Texas Roadhouse is one of them—first time guests are supposed to receive a small “sidekick” of ribs with their order (subject to availability). It varies from location to location. Also sign up for their VIP Club and you’ll get a free appetizer coupon within a day or two, just for joining. Then on your birthday, they’ll send you a coupon for a free appetizer or a sidekick of ribs. –KC

Free Optomap at Your Eye Doctor

I went to a new eye doctor yesterday. When I checked in, they asked if I wanted to dialate my eyes or pay $40 for an Optomap, which is basically a quick retinal scan with no drops, no blurry vision for the rest of the day. I said no thanks, I’ll just do whatever insurance covers. When they brought me back, the tech mentioned it was free for new patients. Turns out it’s pretty common practice — eye doctors want a baseline scan of your retinas on file, so a lot of them will just do it at no charge the first time if you ask. Skipped the dilation, got the scan, saved $40. It’s worth asking about at your next new-patient appointment. –KC

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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Forty-something browser tabs in each instance of Chrome, a downloads folder that I treat like a junk drawer. An email inbox that I get to zero, only to fill back up in a week. I do not lack ambition when it comes to organization, I just lack the right idea.

Most of the productivity advice out there is about adding more structure. Buy this planner, use this app, build this system, color-code these folders or tags. And I’ve tried most of it. Some of it sticks, a lot of it doesn’t, and almost none of it solves the actual problem, which is that before I can do the work, I have to first dig out from under the evidence of all the work I haven’t finished yet.

Realization: before we begin working on something, we should first start with nothing.

Not a better filing system or a new app. Nothing.

A work surface, whether it’s your physical desk, your computer desktop, your browser, your notebook, or even your kitchen counter, is meant to hold only the thing you are actively working on right now. When you’re done, you put it away. In a folder, a drawer, a cabinet, somewhere that is not the surface. The surface stays clear.

My immediate thougt: If I clear my desk I’ll lose everything. If I close my tabs I’ll forget what I was doing. If I file something away I’ll never find it again. And I hear that. But here’s the reframe: Am I using my desk as a work surface, or am I using it as storage? Same with your 47 browser tabs. If I’m not actively working on all of those things, I’m just hoarding.

Think about it the way you think about rooms in your house. A chair is for sitting. A closet is for clothes. A counter is for cooking. We all know what happens when a chair becomes a storage unit. You can’t sit on it anymore, and at some point you start to resent the chair for a problem you created. The desk, the desktop, the open tabs, it’s the same thing.

Our house has four kids in it right now. Two of ours, two in foster care. The chaos is not a metaphor. It is literal. There are days when I walk into the living room and cannot identify the floor. And I have noticed that on the days when I sit down to work without clearing even just my laptop screen first, I get about a third as much done. The mess does something to my brain before I’ve even typed a single word. It’s like trying to think clearly in a room where someone is yelling.

Starting with nothing sounds like giving up or falling behind. It actually feels like the opposite. It feels like a clean slate, a breath before a sentence, the moment before the music starts. You can see clearly. You know exactly what you’re doing and when you’re done with it. The work is just the work, and nothing else is competing for your attention.

The world of a dad is going to be messy. Your kids and inbox will see to that. The downloads folder will keep growing whether you deal with it or not. But your work surface is a space you can actually control. And it turns out that small space is where the best thinking happens.

Start with nothing. You’ll be surprised what you can build from there. -KC

Create a “Done for the Day” List

This is something I do for work but can be applied to family life as well. I want to start the day accruing new tasks and not start the day finishing what should have been done the day (or days) prior. A key habit I' learned from this book is to create a “done for the day” list.

This list is different from a to-do list. A to-do list is infinite. This is a list of items that need to be done before today ends. Its not a running list of items to do at some point this week, at some point this month, before the next status call next week, etc. The idea is you create a finite list of what is attainable to complete before signing off work or going to bed (depending on the context). It forces you to prioritize your time and discern is this something I can actually do today? This task management framework has given me peace of mind after logging off work and allows me to disconnect to enjoy whatever my day has in store after 5 pm. -SW

DIY Electrolytes

I’ve been starting each morning with water mixed with powdered electrolytes, and while I’m feeling great, single-serving electrolyte mixes like LiquidIV can cost well over a dollar per serving. This led me on a mini journey to figure out how to make my own for less money.

The blend I landed on is just three ingredients: 32g of sea salt, 25g of NoSalt (a potassium chloride substitute you can grab at Walmart for a few bucks), and 32g of magnesium malate (the ingredients make way more than this, but this is my ratio). Weigh them out once, store the batch in an airproof container, and you’re done.

I use half a teaspoon or so per 32 oz of water. I pair it with a couple squirts of Great Value Glacier Freeze water enhancer and it tastes indistinguishable from Gatorade. The whole setup costs around $25 and potentially lasts years—a fraction of a penny per serving, and one less trip to the store when spring sickness rolls through and we’re looking to keep everyone’s fluids up. –KC

Reset the House

As far as defining what “reset the house” means you can make it what you want. In my context it means that every night we run the dishwasher, pick up all the toys on the floor, and run the robot vacuum. This allows us to wake up without dishes in the sink. It also creates a clean slate for our daughter to take out new toys. I personally love running the robot vacuum at night to get dog hair and whatever else is on the floor. I can’t put to words why I get so much peace of mind resetting the house in this way but my encouragement to you is define what that means and do it. Ten minutes goes a long way.

Side note - if you don’t have a robot vacuum they really are nice to have. Since being married we’ve had a few and there’s literally thousands of options. My rec is to figure out how much or little you are wanting to pay and get one with good reviews and on sale from Amazon. When we purchased our most recent one I did a lot of research but I found at the end of the day its pretty much all the same. -SW

Tools You Need: Long Pick Set

A cheap hook and pick set is one of those tools you don’t think about until you desperately need one. I grabbed this Performance Tool set from O’Reilly after one of my sockets got stuck in a spark plug cylinder and a mechanic told me a long pick was my best bet to fish it out. It worked beautifully. Since then it’s also pulled a conditioner lid out of a shower drain and helped with a handful of other small jobs. The set is under $15, fits in a drawer, and it keeps showing up useful. –KC

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

Subscribe now

It’s one of the fastest ways to stand out early in your career. You respond quickly, you follow through, and you do what you say you’re going to do. When something needs to get done, people do not think of which role should do it, instead they think of you individually. For a while, that’s exactly what you want. You say yes, take on more, and build a reputation as someone who can be counted on.

At some point though, something will shift.

I remember hitting my first moment of this where I thought, I have too much on my plate. Some of what I was carrying wasn’t even in my job description, but I also knew that if I didn’t do it, it probably wouldn’t get done. That’s a tough spot to be in, but it’s also a spot you earn. The work finds you because you’ve proven you can handle it.

What no one really tells you is that this is a rite of passage for strong contributors. There isn’t a playbook for what to do next in your specific scenario. You have to figure it out in real time and determine how to navigate your situation.

Early on, its asking the question can I do this? Later, it becomes should I be the one doing this? Those are very different questions, and answering the second one requires a different kind of discipline and operating system.

If you keep saying yes to everything, eventually you become responsible for far more than your role. You’re doing your job and parts of other people’s jobs, not because it makes sense, but because you’ve proven you’re reliable. What got you here starts to work against you.

This is where the definition of growth shifts. It’s no longer about doing more. It’s about doing less, doing it better, and teaching others how to do what you said “no” to. It’s also a mindset shift to teaching others to do it, even if you’re better at it than them when they first start.

The goal here isn’t to stop being reliable. It’s to become someone who knows what’s worth owning, what’s worth teaching others, and having the discipline to say “no” to a task or responsibility if it doesn’t fall in your lane or you don’t have capacity to take on.

This is something I have experienced and continue to experience. The first time this happened to me I thought I could power through. I quickly learned I need to change something about the way I work and guard my work/life balance. At some point, if you’re doing a good job, you will be asked to do more than you have time for.

Here are tangible resources that have helped me transition my mindset on defining my role, logical responses when other’s ask me to help when I don’t have capacity, and ultimately leads to attainable work load and job satisfaction. -SW

Essentialism by Greg McKeown

This book might be the singular best resource if you resonate with what I previously said. The TLDR on it is not everything is equally important, and most things you are asked to do are not important at all. What you say “yes” to needs to be calculated and every “yes” you give is inherently 10’s or 100’s of “no’s”. This is the ultimate guide for providing framework to build cognitive muscles for determining what is worth my yes and by default everything else is a no. -SW

Define Your Non-Negotiables of Work/Life Balance

What will you not negotiate when it comes to work/life balance? Actually write these down and communicate these to your manager. Here’s some examples I have going:

• I will be online somewhere between 7:30-8 and offline somewhere between 5-5:30. I like this because it sets a block of time that I am at work. It also sets a block of time for when I am not at work. If my work is bigger than my 45-50 hour container then I know there is too much work, I do not negotiate with myself that “maybe tonight I can hop online once the baby is asleep to finish that task.”

• I do not respond to Teams nor Outlook on my phone. From time to time I will delete these two mobile apps, but I have learned I like being able to check it after hours to see my schedule for the next day. I have notifications off on both of these. But the non-negotiable is I do not respond on my phone to these messages. I need to be on my laptop to do that.

• I do not go to meetings between 8-9 and 4-5 unless I initiate them. On my calendar I have a recurring meeting to block these pockets of time. I have learned that I need an hour in the morning to settle in and knock out my work. I also have an hour to end the day to knock out my task list for time sensitive items. This has dramatically helped me transition myself to work mindset, then out of work mindset to husband/dad. I have learned through trial in error that unless I have this time blocked I will take meetings during those times and not finish the day well. -SW

Turn Off Your Outlook Notifications

A year ago my Outlook stopped working on my phone for a few days while IT sorted out some issues. No notifications or chimes. Initially it was stressful, and I feared I might miss something important. I kept waiting for something to catch fire, but nothing ever did. What I noticed instead was how much easier it was to get work done. I already check my email enough during the day that the notifications weren’t telling me anything I wouldn’t have found on my own. They were just interrupting me. Getting into a real headspace for work takes me 15-20 minutes sometimes, and I’d been handing that window over to whoever happened to type my name into a To field. I turned them off when IT fixed things and haven’t looked back. 10/10 recommend, and I bet you could get by without them too. –KC

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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When it comes to home projects, I find that jumping in without a plan tends to make things harder. When there’s no order to things, you end up spending more energy figuring out what to tackle next than actually making progress. I’ve been there enough times to know the pattern. Having no plan makes me busy, but little gets done.

So now I map it out before I touch anything. Just a calendar and some honest thinking about what’s realistic.

Here’s how I approach it:

Write everything down first. Get everything out of your head and onto paper. Fence, lawn, gutters, garage, shed, etc. Don’t filter, just list.

Sort by what needs to happen before something else can. What on your to-do is dependent on something else? You can’t reseed the lawn before raking out the dead growth. You can’t paint the fence if it rained two days ago. Some projects have a natural order, and working against that order just costs you weekends.

Estimate your time, then give yourself a buffer. I consistently underestimate how long things take. If that sounds familiar, try doubling your estimates and see what happens. It’s a small adjustment that makes a real difference in how the weekends actually go.

Put it on the calendar like it’s a real commitment. A list of projects is just a list until you attach a date to each one. “Paint fence: last weekend of April” is a plan. “Paint fence: sometime this spring” tends to become next spring.

The goal is just to avoid standing in the garage on a Saturday morning wondering where to start. A little structure up front makes the actual work feel a lot more manageable. What’s your method to planning and tackling home projects? –KC

Amazon AI for Price Alerts

Amazon has a built-in AI assistant called Rufus, and it has a great price tracking feature. If you need something but don’t need it right now, you can ask Rufus for the price history on an item and then set an alert for when it drops to your target. It’ll notify you when you hit it — and if you want, you can even tell it to just buy the thing automatically at the trigger price. I’m using it right now to track oil filters. I committed to doing my own oil change for the first time (3,000 miles away, so no rush), and I’d rather not pay full price for something I have months to wait on. Set it, forget it, save a few bucks. –KC

Harbor Freight Sales

Harbor Freight can sometimes have a bad rap for quality, and honestly, there’s truth there. But I’ve come around on them for a specific reason: if you need something niche for a one-off project, they almost always have it at a reasonable price. I wandered in recently looking for vehicle ramps and happened to catch their Spring Black Friday sale and picked up a set for $40 that usually costs $60. The sales are frequent and good. They run tent sales roughly once a quarter, and sales for bigger holiday events like Memorial Day and Black Friday. If you’re doing spring projects and need a tool you’ll use twice in your life, it’s worth checking their sale calendar before you buy anywhere else. In Colorado Springs, at least. –KC

Pre-Germinate Grass Seed

It’s funny how the last few issues I’ve been talking about grass in some form, I promise after this week I’ll take a week or two off. But this time of year, a lot of people are thinking about planting new grass seed, aka overseeding. The last few years I’ve done this I’ve mostly learned through trial and error how to actually get grass to grow without using a ridiculous amount of water. One thing I’ve learned the hard way is that when it comes to overseeding, the seed needs to stay wet literally all the time, and if you try to take a shortcut, it just doesn’t work. One thing that’s been a game changer is pre-germinating your seed, and this video is a great walkthrough. The idea is simple, you soak the seed in something like a 5-gallon bucket for a few days to kickstart growth before it ever hits your yard, which helps it establish faster and cuts down on how much you have to water once it’s spread. I’ve done this myself, and it’s 100% worth it if you’re tackling a lawn project this spring. -SW

Just for Dad: Buy the Tool

“If you have six hours to chop down a tree, spend the first four sharpening the axe.” That quote is attributed to Abraham Lincoln and applies perfectly to home projects. When it’s time to get something done, sharpen the axe, whether that means learning the right way or having the right equipment. Watch the YouTube video, actually buy the product in the link in the description, and get yourself set up before you start. I’ve tried to cut corners too many times, and it always leads to multiple trips to Home Depot, wasted time, and unnecessary frustration. Buying the tool is inevitable. Do yourself the favor upfront, prepare properly, and the job gets a whole lot easier. -SW

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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There’s something awesome about having a good looking lawn. I’m not trying to win lawn of the year with the HOA, but I have enjoyed trying to keep the grass full and green.

Its way more approachable than I thought. There’s also tiers to how much effort you want to put in relative to having the output you are wanting. I am going to include tiers in my recommendations below based on if you want to be a lawn hardo (hardcore lawn dude) or entry level (if you’re wanting a generally solid lawn without being a hardo). I hope this hits with you because its something I have greatly enjoyed throughout the years. -SW

Entry Level - Lawn Mower

There are so many lawn mowers in the market. If I was a free agent this spring I would start on Facebook Marketplace for an electric mower with a battery (make sure it comes with the battery). I would never do something with a cord you have to manage. I’m not as into gas because there’s an engine you have to maintain and its harder to store (I store mine upright in the corner of the garage). I haven’t done enough research to know about how much power gas provides relative to electric, but in my experience electric cuts the blades just fine.

If there’s nothing on Marketplace, I would recommend the Ryobi 20” push lawn mower. Its not the cheapest nor most expensive but its the one I have and I like it. I love the 20” wide because that just means less laps in your lawn than the 16” when mowing. I do the push instead of self push because its cheaper but run the cost/benefit analysis for yourself. -SW

Entry Level - Scott’s Turf Builder Fertilizer

There are hundreds of options of fertilizer. Its easy to experience analysis paralysis. Let me do you a favor and recommend getting Scott’s Turf Builder 4 Step Annual Plan. Then go ahead and download the Scott’s My Lawn app. Buy the cheapest fertilizer spreader you can find. When you have these three things it makes it fool proof for what to do. There are 4 types of fertilizer you get, and the app literally sends you a push notification when its time to put which bag down. Doing this step alone will give you a healthy lawn.

The only thing that’s a little bit challenging is knowing how much fertilizer to put down. I personally just pace off the size of my lawn for the length and width. I do quick math to give me an estimate of how much fertilizer it needs. I have a food scale I use to know roughly how much fertilizer I am putting in the spreader. -SW

Entry Level - Understand How Long to Run Each Zone

A lot of people think there’s a big issue with their lawn but the reality is they aren’t getting enough water to it. They think they’re good because they run their sprinkler a few times a week but there might be variance depending on the spot of the lawn. This video unpacks how to understand the variance and how much water actually gets on your grass. I would suggest spending some time figuring this out. Once you do it you can set your irrigation system and be good to go for good enough. -SW

Hardo Level - Get a Soil Test

In 2024 I purchased this soil test from Amazon. It was super easy where you pull in some soil from a few spots in your lawn and mail it in. Everything is included in the test kit. The information I got back was a lot and I don’t know 70% of it meant, but the best thing it did was gave me a link to a specific fertilizer that was the precise numbers for my soil. Since doing this, my lawn has never been greener once I’ve fertilized.

If you’re a fellow hardo, this was absolutely worth the $30. I haven’t done it since due to thinking my soil doesn’t change that much every year. I will probably snag another test in 2027. -SW

Hardo Level - Electric Lawn Dethatcher

In 2023 I bought an electric lawn dethatcher. This has been a true game changer. There’s a lot of science that goes into this device. The TLDR is the more you fertilize, the thicker a layer of thatch (organic matter that’s spongey) builds, and the less water that actually gets down deep into the grass roots leading to strong grass that will defend against dormancy during the hotter days.

You can buy a thatch rake to manually break through the layer of thatch but its exhausting. The alternative is the electric dethatcher that is as easy to break through as mowing the lawn. In Colorado Springs these are all over Facebook Marketplace so I encourage you to look there before dropping the bucks on Amazon.

This device has been great for short term green grass but also long term healthy turf that will stay in growing condition even when other lawns are going dormant in the Summer. If you end up going this route check out this video to explain the benefits, best practices for when to do it, and the process I have adopted. -SW

Hardo Level - Rainbird Smart Wifi Module

When we bought our house in 2018 it came with a Rainbird irrigation system. In 2021 I bought the Rainbird Smart Wifi Module. This thing has paid for itself at this point.

This is a small chip you plug into your controller. It gives you two capabilities:

1. I am able to adjust my water timings and water days from my phone as long as I’m on Wifi. This is really nice when I need to adjust watering schedules or manually water a zone.

2. It connects the controller to a weather app so if it rains or has rained recently your sprinkler system will adjust to water less or not water at all. So this is where you can actually save money in the long term.

If you’re into lawncare this is 100% worth it. -SW

Ultra Hardo Level - Stripe Your Lawn

I haven’t done this yet but I I will this year. You can buy a striping kit from Home Depot or you can DIY your own to attach onto your lawnmower.

If you’re an ultra hardo let me know how this is going for you. I feel like this has to feel awesome finishing up a mow, drinking a beer on the patio and just checking out your stripes. -SW

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

Subscribe now

This year’s batch turned out great, while the evening itself took a turn. Our five-year-old managed to re-break his arm that had just healed, courtesy of the backyard bounce house, and we closed out Easter Sunday in the ER as they reset it and fit him for a new cast. He’s fine, all’s well, and we’re already back to full chaos. Here’s to the traditions worth repeating, and the ones that better not 😁 –KC

The Fried Chicken Recipe

Here’s the most current version of the recipe. Whole chickens, broken down into about 8-10 pieces per bird, brined overnight in buttermilk and Frank’s RedHot. Twenty-four hours in the fridge and the meat comes out tender, seasoned all the way through, and full of flavor. Day of, I double dredge in seasoned flour and starch, then into the outdoor fryer at 325-350°F. Depending on how you scale it, it’s a full day project. But it’s a lot of fun and totally worth the effort imo. –KC

Fried Chicken Dadvice

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Going to Easter Service on Saturday

I know this is going to sound crazy but hear me out. I have had 2 Easters as a father and both times we have made it to the Saturday service instead of Sunday. Its a great idea.

One caveat before diving in - Easter is the Super Bowl of the Christian faith. So I am not making this recommendation to “check the box” of going to church.

Our church has a 4 o’clock and 6 o’clock Saturday service. Then on Sunday they had a 9, 11, 1, and 3 options. There is a huge push from our church to avoid the 9 and 11 to save room for visitors. So your options really are 1 and 3 on Sunday or picking a Saturday option. We have found the 4 o’clock on Saturday to be perfect. It allows you to go church, experience the service, then you are able to be at home for a typical bed time routine. Then Sunday you have a slow morning doing Easter fun. Have a typical rhythm of naptime. Once the baby is awake you are able to proceed with whatever Easter traditions you have. Hitting the Saturday service is something we will do for a long time. -SW

Turn the Sprinklers On During Masters Week

When I moved to Colorado I didn’t know anything about “real” winters. When I bought a house I didn’t know anything about home ownership. So I had to do a lot of personal research to figure out what it meant to winterize sprinklers in the Fall and what it meant to turn them on in the Spring.

True Coloradans say to not turn your sprinklers on for the Spring until Mother’s Day. For the last 4 years I have made it my tradition to turn them on during Masters week.

For me, this is a tradition that signifies the start of Summer. We might get hit with one or two more snows but there are more warm days than cold days in the month of April. This is the time to start transitioning your mindset into this is the best time of the year to live here. Softball is once a week, I try to book a tee time once a week, I tend to do more grilling, and its the start of lawn care season. There’s nothing better and Masters week is the milestone event to kick it all off. I encourage you to tradition stack Masters week with something you love. -SW

Just for Dad: Grab A Few Extra Sprinkler Heads

Every spring I turn the sprinklers back on and find out at least one head got cracked over the winter or is spraying sideways into the fence. Last year I made two separate trips to Home Depot because I didn’t think to grab extras the first time. Now I just pick up a few replacement heads at the first of the season when I’m stocking up on other spring stuff. They’re a couple bucks each, they’re easy to swap out, and having them on the shelf means I’m not running back to the store mid-project on a Saturday. –KC

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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Here is a roadmap I wish I had for the key moments leading up to delivery. From my perspective, this is how to use your time well.

Here are seven things I’d strongly recommend focusing on before your baby arrives. -SW

Prepare the nursery

Remember when you were wedding planning and your wife knew exactly what she wanted because she had been thinking about it her whole life? Preparing the nursery feels like the sequel to that story.

My advice is simple. Let her lead and support where needed.

Your role will likely look like:

• Hanging shelves

• Building the crib

• Saying yes to buying new items

One of the most helpful things you can do is help discern what goes on the registry versus what you go ahead and buy yourselves. That kind of tangible help goes a long way.

Understand nesting and support it well

At some point, your wife is going to shift into nesting mode.

For us, this meant cleaning everything. The oven, vents, blinds, baseboards, grout, cabinets. Literally everything.

Lean into it. Do not question it or resist it. You will enjoy the cleanliness afterward too.

My tangible advice:

• Pick a date to do the deep clean. Find a weekend where the sports calendar is light and your schedule is open. Nothing is worse than cleaning instead of watching The Masters or March Madness.

• Make a list of everything that needs to be done so you can track progress.

• There is a YouTube video for how to clean anything efficiently. Watch one, learn the right methods, and get the right supplies. A trip to Home Depot makes the whole process easier.

• When you finish, go out for a great meal. We saved a few hundred dollars doing it ourselves and celebrated with something we really enjoyed.

Engage in the registry

Your wife will likely take the lead on the registry, and that’s great.

But do not fully check out. You are going to want to care.

Pick a few items you have a preference on since you will be using them too. Here are a few I found incredibly useful, but do your own research:

• Doona car seat and stroller

• Baby Bjorn carrier

• Infant Optics baby monitor

Take a birthing class

I had never thought about the birthing process or my role in it before taking this class. It ended up being one of the best things I did before our baby was born.

You show up at the hospital with other expectant couples and walk through what to expect. I thought it might be boring. It was not.

Here is what I learned that made a big difference:

• Indicators that it is time to go to the hospital

• Where to park and where to check in

• What to expect during labor

• How to support your wife in real, practical ways

• What is normal and what is not

More than anything, it gives you confidence for when it is time.

You will not remember everything, but you will feel far less overwhelmed.

Take a babymoon

Before the baby arrives, take intentional time away together. This is your last trip where it is just the two of you and you do not have to arrange childcare.

You can go anywhere, but as you get closer, a direct flight becomes more valuable.

For us, the goal was not to do something extravagant. It was the opposite:

• Slow down

• Enjoy each other’s company

• Acknowledge that your relationship is about to change

• Do things that bring you life

We went to Arizona, spent time by the pool, and ate great food. If you want to go big, go for it. The goal is to do something that fills you up.

Celebrate the transition with your friends

It is an overused joke, but guys are not always great at talking about what’s “really” going on or celebrating meaningful moments. We know how to do bachelor parties, but after that guys don’t have a typical event to celebrate another guy.

My encouragement is to do something intentional with your friends - even if you have to initiate it.

You do not have to call it a shower, but call it something that signals this is not just a normal hangout. This is a moment to celebrate someone becoming a dad. I’ve been calling it a daddymoon but you can call it anything you want.

For me, my best friends from high school and I played golf in the morning, then went to a house to swim, grill burgers, and watch the Red River Shootout. Everyone brought a pack of diapers for me to take home. There were some decorations. It was simple, a lot of fun, and a day I will never forget.

You are stepping into a new role. It is worth pausing to recognize it with people who have been part of your life.

Open a life insurance policy and read a book

This might sound funny, but I remember doing everything above and still feeling like I needed to do more. I told this to a friend and he gave me great advice.

“If you feel that way, buy a parenting book and open a 30-year term life insurance policy.”

I did both. It gave me peace knowing I was taking care of what I could control.

You will never feel fully ready. That is normal.

But if you use this time intentionally, you will walk into that delivery room with confidence, clarity, and a sense that you did what you could to prepare.

And that matters far more than getting everything perfect.

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

Subscribe now

I’m writing this from a hotel room in Kansas. Bennett, my five-year-old, is asleep next to me after four days of funeral service, family dinners, and a whole lot of “Dad, who’s that again?” Because of foster care logistics, the rest of the family stayed back in Colorado Springs. So it has been just the two of us, for the first time ever, surrounded by my side of the family. Watching him represent the next generation of our family while I was also saying goodbye to grandma has been a beautiful experience. This week’s issue is what I learned. –KC

Plan “Roadside Oddity” Pit Stops / Look for Fun

Eight hours is a long drive with a five-year-old, so I asked ai to look for “roadside oddities” along our route. Every two to two and a half hours or so we had a destination, something absurd and specific that Bennett could look forward to. Between Colorado Springs and Kansas City, we stopped at the world’s largest easel (a Van Gogh replica) and the world’s largest hand-painted egg. On the way back, we’re hitting the world’s largest belt buckle. It gives him a mental reset between stretches of highway, and it makes eight hours feel a lot more managable.

Get Your Kid a Camera

Bennett received a small kids’ digital camera before we left, and we challenged him to take good pictures to show mom and the siblings when we get back. We had to have multiple conversations about privacy and not pointing it at people at inappropriate moments, but looking through his photos and videos afterward was really special. He photographed great-aunts he’d never met, the hotel breakfast buffet, the backseat of the car. Seeing a roadtrip and family funeral through a five-year-old’s lens, what he chose to document and what he ignored entirely, was really cool, and I’m so glad we have those to look through together.

Never Underestimate the Snack (and Underwear) Situation

I packed light on snacks, which I will not do again. The rule I’ve now adopted: if a five-year-old mentions hunger or a bathroom, you have approximately thirty seconds before it becomes a full situation. There is no “hold on” or “we’ll stop in twenty minutes.” The world stops. Everything else is secondary. I don’t say this to scare you, I say it because I thought I knew and I was wrong. A small cooler with real food and a few of his favorites would have prevented at least two tense stretches of I-70. Lesson learned.

Embrace the Kid Buffer

Here is something no one tells you about bringing a young child to a funeral: they are genuinely useful. Not so much in a task-oriented way, but in the way that a five-year-old has no filter and absolutely no ability to read a room, which, in the middle of grief, is exactly what a group of adults needs. When the service ended and Bennett said loudly, to our entire row, ”Finally!”, everyone laughed with relief. You can’t manufacture that, and you also can’t control it, which means at some point you have to make peace with the fact that a squirming kid at a church funeral is going to do what he’s going to do. Embracing it instead of fighting it is very rewarding.

Let Them See You Grieve

There have been lots of tears from lots of people on this trip, and Bennett’s seen them. After the funeral he asked me if I was sad, and I told him yes, that I loved my grandma and I was going to miss her. He patted my arm. What I didn’t expect was watching him, over four days, learn to match the emotional temperature of the room. He got quieter during the hard moments. He hugged people without being told to. He told my aunt he was sorry about her mom. I don’t think any of that happens if I’m shielding him from the uncomfortable parts. Grief is good, emotions are good. Let them see the whole thing.

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

Subscribe now

I know the pandemic had already been impacting parts of the world before that, but six years ago was when it truly felt like it hit my life.

At the time, I was fully invested in Baylor basketball. That team had gone on a 23-game win streak and felt like a legitimate national title contender. March Madness was right around the corner and it felt like our window.

Then the tournament was canceled.

I remember being crushed. At the time I had no idea Baylor would eventually win a national championship the next year. In that moment it felt like this was our shot and it had just disappeared.

The very next day I remember a very specific moment at work. Someone rolled a cart into the office and people started loading up their things to take home. The plan was simple: we’d all work remotely for two weeks while leadership monitored the situation.

Two weeks.

I remember thinking how crazy it was that we were all going to work from home for two straight weeks.

We had moved to Colorado Springs in 2018 because the job was in person, and we had just bought a house in October 2019. My entire team worked in the office except for two remote coworkers. Back then we would gather in a conference room and “Zoom them in” on one screen.

The strangest part was not knowing when we’d go back.

For us, we never did.

During the pandemic there was a large restructure and our roles officially became remote.

So much has changed in six years. When talking to Kyle we decided to switch it up this time and write about things that are incredibly normal now, but were not as popular pre-pandemic. -SW

The Normalcy of Zoom

I saw a stock chart for Zoom recently and it made me reflect on how quickly life changed during the pandemic.

Almost overnight, everything went from “normal” to Zoom.

Work meetings were on Zoom.
My small group was on Zoom.
Even an impromptu trivia night with old college friends started happening on Zoom.

Before the pandemic, Zoom was mostly a work tool. It was something a few companies used for remote employees or client meetings. Most people I knew had barely heard of it.

Then suddenly everyone knew Zoom.

You had grandparents learning how to mute themselves, teachers running entire classrooms through it, friends hosting happy hours, churches doing services, and coworkers spending their entire workday there.

If you look at the stock chart, you can see the story pretty clearly. A massive spike when the world suddenly depended on it… and then a gradual return closer to normal as life opened back up.

But something did stick.

Even though Zoom’s hype settled down, the comfort with it never really went away. Today it’s mostly back to being a work tool again but now everyone knows what it is, how to use it, and doesn’t think twice about hopping on a video call.

In a strange way, that chart captures a moment in time when the entire world had to learn the same piece of technology all at once. -SW

Noticeable Decline in Customer Service

We’ve all felt it. You walk into a Taco Bell, and it feels like you’re an interruption. No one’s manning the counter, and employees are avoiding eye contact. You’ve been waiting 20 minutes for a bean burrito, too late to cancel the order on your app, and too much time sunk.

Before the pandemic, there was a certain standard of customer service we were accustomed to. But according to Forbes, we are currently in a “Customer Patience Crisis.” During the lockdowns, we all gave grace because the world was falling apart. Now, businesses have mistaken that temporary “grace” for a new, lower baseline of what we’re willing to accept—and sadly, we seem to be accepting it.

Companies realized they could operate with fewer staff and push “self-service” as a feature rather than a cost-cutting measure. For us, it means more time spent in the “help” queue and less time getting actual help. It’s a strange shift; we’re paying more than ever, yet service has never been worse. -KC

Bringing Food and Groceries to Your Car

One thing the pandemic really springboarded was curbside pickup.

Before 2020, grocery stores already offered online ordering and pickup, but it wasn’t used nearly as often as today. Most people still went inside the store like they always had. Restaurants were similar. Takeout existed, but pulling into a parking spot and having someone bring the order out to your car was not really the norm. I even remember a Domino’s commercial explaining their “carside delivery” option. The whole ad was basically: order online, park in a spot, stay in your car, and a worker will walk your pizza out to your car. At the time they actually had to explain the concept.

The pandemic did not start this trend, but it massively accelerated it. Grocery pickup and delivery usage has exploded. I found an article saying in August 2019, about 2 billion groceries were purchased online (pickup and delivery combined). By March 2025, that number had grown to 9.7 billion.

What is even more telling is how stores are adapting. Some new grocery stores are now being designed with side lots and dedicated doors specifically for pickup operations. What used to be a small add-on service is now significant enough that retailers are rearranging their square footage and parking lots to support it.

In other words, curbside for fast food and groceries is here to stay. -SW

Increased Home Involvement from Dads

If there’s a silver lining to the “two weeks that turned into years,” it’s what happened in our living rooms. Once remote work became the norm for many, something shifted among many dads in their twenties and thirties.

Research on millennial fatherhood shows that our generation is fundamentally redefining the role. Unlike the traditional “breadwinner” model, the trend seems to be that dads are striving for a more egalitarian approach. We want to be emotionally and practically present for our families, correcting the “absentee” mistakes we saw in previous generations. It’s a level of presence our own fathers, and their fathers, rarely had the option to have, and honestly, it’s one of the best things to come out of the pandemic. -KC

QR Codes

Another thing the pandemic accelerated was the use of QR codes.

QR codes were actually invented in 1994 in Japan. So the pandemic did not create them. But if we are being honest, how many people were actually using QR codes before 2020?

Now they are everywhere. At my church they are still used on the announcement slides, and there is a sticker with one on every chair so you can scan it to see the service guide. At work we have QR codes on almost all of our printed materials so people can scan them instead of typing a long URL into their browser. Restaurants still use them for menus, and most people do not even think twice about scanning one.

What amazes me is how quickly everyone learned how to use them. Almost overnight people understood that you could point the camera on your phone at a weird looking square and instantly get the information you needed.

That kind of behavior change almost never happens under normal circumstances. In many ways, it might be one of the greatest change management stories ever. QR codes are everywhere now, they are clearly here to stay, and I honestly do not think twice about using them anymore. -SW

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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I remember graduating college and starting my first “real” job. Everything was exciting. I was finally earning my own money, starting my investing journey, managing my PTO and budget to take fun trips. Everything was awesome, but I knew the other side of that same coin was having to figure out taxes.

All I really knew back then was that every year when you make money, you have to pay taxes. Looking back on it my situation was really simple. I basically had 2 forms I needed.

1. My W-2

2. My Robinhood account

Super straightforward. I remember picking up a TurboTax box at Sam’s Club because it was on sale, and honestly, it met my needs perfectly. Easy, simple, and done.

Since then, a lot of things have happened in my life to make my tax season more complicated. I have gotten married and we have a baby. My wife had a W-2 but now has her own business so there’s a different form that we have to file. I have broadened our investment portfolio to have an HSA, i-bonds, and an investment property. We have gotten into the credit card points game so we get forms for the points sometimes. I can’t tell you which specific account or investment pushed me out of doing Turbo Tax but at this point I have a tax advisor who files our taxes for us.

My tax situation isn’t impossible, but it’s definitely more complex than right out of college. At this point I’m perfectly fine outsourcing to a tax advisor. The peace of mind, time saved, and accuracy are worth it for me.

I have no idea where everyone is at reading this. You might be a pro and should be writing this post for me. You might be in your first year out of college and filing solo. Regardless of where you’re at, here is the advice I would give to make this stretch of time smoother and simpler. -SW

Consolidate Accounts As Much As Possible

Consolidating accounts leads to less forms and paperwork. Let me give you some concrete examples of how we have done this.

1. When you leave an employer your 401k will stay at the company your former employer used. “Roll over” your 401k into the new employers 401k program. It just leads to less accounts and less forms.

2. When you were little maybe you were lucky enough to have a parent or grand parent open an account for you. “Roll over” that money into whatever institution you are investing in. The investment is still there, but its now consolidated leading to less credentials to remember and less paper work at tax season.

Have a Place for Your Tax Papers

Every January I just know we will start to get slammed with physical and digital paperwork for tax forms. I like to have a system where I put everything in one place until mid March. Once I hit mid March, I cross check what I have with what I have expected to receive (more on that below). If I have everything, then I’m good to send everything to my tax advisor. If I don’t have everything, I start to upload all of my documents and notify my tax advisor of what is remaining.

Create a List of Expected Tax Forms You Receive

This might be the best tip I can give. After you are done filing, leave a note for yourself to find next tax season of every form you expect you need to file based on the current year. So leave a bulleted list of forms you received this year, and if you’re expecting any new forms the following year notate that too. This makes filing the next year significantly easier. It takes maybe 10 minutes after you’re done filing but it saves so much mental load the following year knowing what forms you’re waiting on V what forms you have already received.

Use TurboTax Until You Can’t

Hiring a tax advisor is more expensive than TurboTax. For that reason, if you’re tax situation is really straight forward then keep using it. But as soon as you’re unsure if you’re doing it right, or you’re unsure if you’re maximizing your return, then go through the process to find someone who can do it for you. Its really nice to have someone I can call during the year if I have tax questions come up. Its also nice knowing that if something were to happen with an audit that I have a professional who has tied their name to filing my taxes that can go to bat for me.

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

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It got me thinking: what if the sign on Burgess didn’t wait for me to fail? What if, instead of a digital finger-wag, it threw a little “party” of green checkmarks and a “thank you!” when I actually followed the law? Bet that every time I drove by I’d be going the limit. It’s funny how the human brain works. Or at least how mine does.

In fatherhood, it’s easy to fall into the “highway patrol” model. Things don’t go how we think they should, and we cruise the hallways waiting for a violation—a spilled drink, a forgotten chore, a sharp tone—so we can flick on the sirens. It’s reactive and exhausting. When our primary interaction with our kids is corrective, it stresses them out, and it taxes our nervous systems. There is a heavy psychological toll to being the “enforcer” 24/7. It keeps us in a state of hyper-vigilance, looking for the negative rather than enjoying the presence of our family.

If you’re not already, give the shift toward positive reinforcement, the “green light” approach, a try. When we intentionally “catch them being good,” we train our own brains to scan for beauty, effort, and cooperation. It moves us from a state of friction to a state of flow. Instead of the adrenaline/cortisol spike of a confrontation, we get the satisfaction of connection. -KC

Podcast: Wow in the World

About a month ago we started listening to Wow in the World on the drive home from school, and it’s quickly become a hit. It’s a science podcast for kids. Every episode covers real research on things kids are into, like dinosaurs, space, and the human body. It’s funny, well-produced, has a huge catalog of episodes, and Bennett laughs out loud at least once per episode. Last week he told me he wants to be a scientist when he grows up, and it’s 100% because of this podcast. Free on any podcast app. -KC

Chewy Recurring for Dog Food

Brooke and I started using Chewy to automate Sadie’s dog food deliveries, and it has been a huge help. Since Sadie has such a sensitive stomach, we can’t just grab any general brand from the grocery store anymore. We need a more specialized food that isn’t always easy to find locally. Setting up autoship has taken all the guesswork out of it. I honestly don’t even know how often it shows up, but somehow it arrives at a reasonable time, right when we’re getting low.

Before this, we had a night where we completely ran out of food and had to give Sadie rice and eggs for dinner because it was too late to run to the store. That was the moment we knew we needed a better system. Since switching to Chewy, every order has been on time, reliable, and exactly what she needs. We haven’t had to scramble once. If you’ve got a dog, especially one with a sensitive stomach, I can’t recommend automating your dog food enough. -SW

Tiger Rice Cooker

We’ve had our Tiger Rice Cooker for a couple years now and it’s become one of the most-used appliances in our kitchen. It does rice perfectly every single time, no babysitting required. But it also steams vegetables and proteins, which we stumbled onto and now use. It holds up to 5.5 cups, so it’s plenty for a family dinner with leftovers. There’s also a genuinely good rabbit hole of rice cooker recipes online if you want to get weird with it. One of my favorite recipes for it is below. –KC

Recipe - Curry Chicken Potato Rice

We just came off about three weeks of rotating sickness in our house, and this recipe really hit the spot, especially when your stomach isn’t really wanting anything.

Throw 3 cups of rice in the rice cooker, fill to the line with chicken stock, add a tablespoon or two of S&B Oriental Curry Powder, chunk up 1-2 potatoes sitting on the counter, and toss in leftover shredded chicken, pot roast, or another protein if you have it. Hit start. Salt to taste after. It’s warm, savory, everyone loves it, and makes enough to pull from all week. S&B is the move here—don’t substitute it, grab a tin from Amazon or the Asian aisle. -KC

Just for Dad: Sonos Ray Sound Bar

A year or two ago my Dadvice would be to turn on subtitles. If turning on subtitles resonates with you, the issue might not be your ears, it might be your sound. I realized our living room just has bad acoustics, so instead of defaulting to subtitles, I started researching sound bars and surround sound options. After talking to friends and a few dadvice subscribers, I landed on the Sonos Ray. It’s not the cheapest option, but it’s certainly not the most expensive, and after a couple of weeks I can confidently say it has completely upgraded our TV experience. I can actually hear and understand dialogue again and I’m watching shows without subtitles for the first time in a long time. -SW

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

Subscribe now

But 15 months into this, I feel completely different. Colorado winters are long, and having a beach trip on the calendar to break them up is absolutely worth it. Saying “yes” to family trips matters. I have learned how important it is to figure out how to bring your baby into the things you love. You can still do them. It just takes more patience, better planning, extra effort, and caring a little less about what strangers around you might think.

I also think my pre-dad mindset assumed babies were completely unpredictable. While that can be true, you do start to understand patterns like nap windows, grouchy hours, and how to run through the basic diagnostics of soothing your baby. The key realization for me was that you do have more than zero percent control. You may not have 100 percent, but you definitely have more than none, and there is real comfort in that.

Flying with a baby is absolutely attainable, but it is significantly harder than when it was just you and your spouse. In February, we took a family trip to Hawaii with a two-hour flight to Phoenix followed by a six-and-a-half hour flight to Maui. I knew this would be a real test for us. Before leaving, we did a lot of research and talked with friends who had gone before us. Below are the tips and tricks we put into practice on flying with a baby, and I would genuinely love to hear yours too. -SW

Work as a Team with Your Spouse

This is a huge one. You and your spouse are teammates in this, and the people around you expect you two to show some effort, but more importantly, it just works better that way. On our flight, we were able to double team and all sit in one row. Sometimes I held the baby, sometimes Brooke sat next to the baby, sometimes Brooke handed out snacks, and sometimes I held the snacks. We rotated, adjusted, and tagged each other in as needed. You two are a team to get through the flight, so divide and conquer regardless of your family size. No keeping score. Just teamwork. -SW

Don’t Care About Public Perception

Traveling with kids tends to stress me out in a specific way: not so much the logistics, but the burden we’re putting on those around us. How we were being perceived. The sighs from the guy in our proximity who clearly didn’t sign up for this. At some point though, after getting a few multi-child flights under my belt, something shifted in my thinking. You realize you’re doing everything you can, and sometimes still, kids are going to cry. That’s just the deal. What I’ve realized is that most people get it, and often sympathize. And the ones who don’t? That’s honestly their problem to manage. You’re not a bad parent. You’re just a parent, on a plane, doing your best. And that’s all we can reasonably ask of anyone, with or without child. -KC

Bring Snacks

Before the flight, I asked a Dadvice subscriber for tips since he has flown with his family many times. His number one recommendation was to bring snacks.

While that seems obvious, I was shocked at how effective it was. We typically have standardized times for MK to eat, but we threw that out the window on the flight. We packed a wide variety of snacks, and anytime she started getting fussy, giving her a snack was plan A. It worked really well for us, so I definitely would not leave this one off the list. -SW

Tip While You Travel

Traveling with kids means hauling car seats, pack-n-plays, strollers, and mounds of bags. The thirty minutes before we get through security and drop off checked luggage is genuinely the most stressful part of the entire trip for me. A few years ago I started carrying cash specifically to tip every person who helps us in that crazy window: the shuttle driver who loads our mountain of bags and strollers, the curbside bag guy, the rental car person. From experience, usually five bucks is enough to turn someone’s indifference into helpfulness. This $15-20 bucks per trip leg has bought me more peace of mind than any other travel tip I’ve read or applied. -KC

Book Flights During Times That Keeps Your Baby on Track

On the way to Maui, we had two flights. The first was at 5 a.m. and the second was around 8 a.m. On the way home, we ended up booking a red eye that left at 9 p.m. and then connected home at noon.

My biggest learning is that you have to figure out what type of traveler your baby is. For us, MK barely slept on the way to Hawaii even though we were in the air during her normal nap time. On the way back, she slept almost the entire flight, but Brooke and I barely slept at all. I would not recommend a red eye with a child because we were both exhausted while the baby was well rested, and that led to some challenges once we landed.

Next time, I would aim for a morning flight, just not a 5 a.m. departure. I think there is a sweet spot where your baby can wake up at a normal time and stay close to their regular nap schedule, while you and your spouse are still at full strength going into a long travel day. -SW

Just for Dad: Noise Cancelling Headphones

I remember it like it was yesterday. On holiday, in 2016, at the IFC mall in central Hong Kong. I was finally convinced by a friend to buy a pair of nice noise-cancelling headphones at the Bose store. Alicia and I were dating.

”Just think about it, Kyle,” a friend said. “I know it’s hard to picture it now, but think about life 10 years from now. You’re married, have a couple of kids in the house, chaos of life. You’re going to want a pair of these.” She pointed to a pair of Bose QC-25 noise-cancelling headphones.

I think about that conversation literally every time I put these on to escape the noise and chaos of life at home with four kids, and while traveling, especially on the plane. It was a lot of money back then, but here we are, a decade later, and 5 years into being a dad, and I’ve never once regretted the purchase. -KC

Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.

If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.

Subscribe now