Dadvice Weekly #17 / Smarter Goalsetting
Dadvice Weekly - #17
My takeaways from this article by Ryan Holiday on goalsetting:
Most goals are rooted in external outcomes you can’t actually control. The problem isn’t ambition, it’s that fixating on those external results sucks up massive amounts of energy that should be spent doing the actual work that might generate those results.
A musician chasing charts makes derivative music. A speaker watching for audience reaction loses their train of thought.
Here’s what to focus on instead:
Process over outcomes. Love the craft, not the charts. Show up every day and do the thing because you want to. Run because you want to run, write because you want to write. The work itself is the win.
Be internally driven. Compete with yourself, not others. When you’re chasing someone else’s numbers or stuck in comparison mode, you end up playing a tournament where even winning feels empty. But striving to be the best version of yourself? There’s no limit to how far that can push you.
Embrace continuous improvement. Find small ways to get better daily. This keeps things interesting and insulates you from outcomes, ego, and self-doubt. Your successes don’t inflate you because you know you’re capable of more. Your failures don’t crush you because you gave everything.
Goals are finite—you hit them, feel good for five minutes, then what? But process is infinite. You control whether you show up and give your best. No one can stop you from that. Forget the destination, just keep showing up. -KC
Costco’s “Wine Advent-ure Calendar”
Several years ago Brooke and I were in Costco and we found an advent calendar that was a bottle of wine a day for $100. We ended up buying it and have since bought it several times for December. Basically you pay $100 and get 24 half bottles (375 ml) of wine. Some are red, some are rose, some are white and its a little over $4 to try 24 bottles of wine.
Its been something we look forward to and enjoy doing. We always start strong, but we have yet to come anywhere close to doing the full 24 before Christmas. But all in all, I think its a fun activity to do with your spouse in the month of December. Whatever you don’t finish is just extra bottles to try in the future. Also we’ve learned if you buy it ~December 8th-10th, you can get it half off. -SW
Taskcoach.ai
I’ve been using TaskCoach.AI for personal growth off and on the past few months, and it’s genuinely changed how I approach bigger goals. You pick something you want to accomplish, and it builds you a personalized roadmap with daily tasks to get you there. The cool part is it factors in your schedule and personality; it’s not just generic advice. Each day you get a short task list, video recommendations based on your goals, and feedback nudges that keep you moving forward. The light gamification (streaks, progress tracking) is just enough to make checking things off satisfying. -KC
Join a Golf Simulator League
The winter months of Colorado are tough for golf. Thankfully over the last few years we’ve had several golf simulator companies come to town to give people the chance to swing even when the courses are closed. I did it a handful of times last winter but this winter a friend and I are inquiring with joining one of the simulator leagues (For Colorado Springs readers and for non-Colorado Springs readers). Basically it gives you one night a week where you can get out of the house and play golf with a friend and not take the full winter off from swinging.
In our research we’ve learned there are two types of leagues. One is synchronous where every bay at the location are playing at the same time. The other is once a week where you can pick a tee time that works best for your team. There is someone who works there who will log your scores, develop your handicap (it is not connected to GHIN but a new handicap based on simulator scores tracked by the league), and you receive updates on how your team is doing relative to the pack. We’re leaning towards doing asynchronous so we can set our tee times for after the kids go to bed.
-SW
Biola Advent Project
Advent season is upon us! I’ve been subscribing to the Biola Advent Project for six years now, and it’s always a treat, especially as someone that can have a hard time connecting to the season. Each day pairs Scripture and a written devotion with art, music, poetry, and prayer—human expressions that connect the Christmas story to how we actually experience life. It’s a modern, thoughtful way to observe Advent without it becoming another chore on the list. If you sign up with your email, they deliver it straight to your inbox every day from the first Sunday of Advent through Epiphany. Takes five minutes, and it’s been one of the better traditions I’ve added to this season. -KC
Black Friday Deal - Apple AirPods 4 $80
A few years ago, someone told me about BlackFriday.com. I still don’t know how they make money, but they do one thing really well: consolidate all Black Friday deals into one place.
I’ve been browsing this year thinking I’d share a handful of deals on Dadvice, but honestly, only one feels worth mentioning.
For $80 ($50 off) you can get AirPods 4. I’m not sure what makes these different from the pro or previous versions, but it seems like a solid deal. AirPods are one of the most universal gifts you can give. Whether you buy them for yourself or for someone else, this is a great option to flag. -SW
Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.
If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.