Dadvice Weekly #19 / Dog Chases Mailman
Dadvice Weekly - #19
A few weeks ago, my son decided he doesn’t want me singing songs to him at night anymore.
Suddenly, a ritual we’ve kept since we brought him home, was over. It was a small moment, but it stung. It was a reminder that life is a series of endings and beginnings.
I was talking about this feeling with a good friend recently who is considering a career change. He’s been casually looking for a something new for a while. Now that he is deep in interviews with a company that would require a move, the possibility of significant life change is settling in. He’s concerned that taking the new job will force him to uproot his family and leave the community they’ve worked so hard to build.
Ambition can sometimes feel like a dog chasing a mailman. The drive for more—more responsibility, expanded territory, the new title—is the dog. The mailman is the thing we think we want. But the moment the dog actually catches the mailman, the thrill vanishes. You look around, confused, asking, “Now what?” You realize you might not have wanted the thing you were chasing; you just wanted the chase. The dog ends up missing the front porch.
Whether it’s the anxiety of a job change or the end of a bedtime ritual, the underlying truth is the same: everything is always moving and changing.
So what will our response be? It can be easy to squander the present because we are too busy mourning how things used to be. We can try to capture ghosts of the past rather than enjoy what’s happening right now. I seem to handle change better when I enjoy the present moment more, regardless of what it looks like. -KC
Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir
One of my favorite things to do on a longer stretch of PTO is read fiction. I’ve learned it helps me detach from work, recharge, and holding a book forces me to sit still.
This Christmas season while I’m on PTO, I’m re-reading Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir (the author of The Martian). Dadvice isn’t a book club, but this is one you should consider. It’s a good story about space that’s well written.
Here’s why now is the perfect time: Project Hail Mary is being adapted into a movie starring Ryan Gosling, dropping in March. The trailer looks incredible (check it out here).
I first read this book about a year ago and loved it. I’m excited to dive back in over the next two weeks to prep for the movie. If you need a great holiday read, this is it. -SW
Bike Hooks for Garage
Our garage hit critical mass this fall—four kids means bikes, scooters, power wheels, and more piled everywhere you try to walk. We grabbed these bike hooks off Amazon and mounted them along one wall. The install took maybe 20 minutes total (just lag screws straight into the studs), and now our bikes hang vertically instead of sprawled across the floor. The hooks are rubber coated so they don’t scratch the rims, and they hold up to 65 pounds each, which is more than enough for our bikes. -KC
Just for Dad: Holiday Cheer from Shiner Bock
One of my favorite things about the holidays is having flavors that feel tied to the season. For me, that means cracking open a Shiner Bock Holiday Cheer.
Over the years this beer has grown to be the taste of Christmas time: the fireplace is glowing, the tree is lit, and there’s a bowl game on TV. If you’ve never had it, I highly recommend grabbing a six-pack. If you have, make it part of your December tradition where this is an option in your fridge for the upcoming bowl season.
Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.
If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.