Dadvice Weekly #30 / Flying with a One Year Old
Dadvice Weekly - #30
Before having a baby I remember thinking we would never fly anywhere with one. I pictured us as the family who loads up the car and just drives to Texas for holidays, the ones who politely decline anything that requires a plane ticket. The thought of being on an airplane with an inconsolable baby, combined with my own risk aversion, made me swear it was not worth it.
But 15 months into this, I feel completely different. Colorado winters are long, and having a beach trip on the calendar to break them up is absolutely worth it. Saying “yes” to family trips matters. I have learned how important it is to figure out how to bring your baby into the things you love. You can still do them. It just takes more patience, better planning, extra effort, and caring a little less about what strangers around you might think.
I also think my pre-dad mindset assumed babies were completely unpredictable. While that can be true, you do start to understand patterns like nap windows, grouchy hours, and how to run through the basic diagnostics of soothing your baby. The key realization for me was that you do have more than zero percent control. You may not have 100 percent, but you definitely have more than none, and there is real comfort in that.
Flying with a baby is absolutely attainable, but it is significantly harder than when it was just you and your spouse. In February, we took a family trip to Hawaii with a two-hour flight to Phoenix followed by a six-and-a-half hour flight to Maui. I knew this would be a real test for us. Before leaving, we did a lot of research and talked with friends who had gone before us. Below are the tips and tricks we put into practice on flying with a baby, and I would genuinely love to hear yours too. -SW
Work as a Team with Your Spouse
This is a huge one. You and your spouse are teammates in this, and the people around you expect you two to show some effort, but more importantly, it just works better that way. On our flight, we were able to double team and all sit in one row. Sometimes I held the baby, sometimes Brooke sat next to the baby, sometimes Brooke handed out snacks, and sometimes I held the snacks. We rotated, adjusted, and tagged each other in as needed. You two are a team to get through the flight, so divide and conquer regardless of your family size. No keeping score. Just teamwork. -SW
Don’t Care About Public Perception
Traveling with kids tends to stress me out in a specific way: not so much the logistics, but the burden we’re putting on those around us. How we were being perceived. The sighs from the guy in our proximity who clearly didn’t sign up for this. At some point though, after getting a few multi-child flights under my belt, something shifted in my thinking. You realize you’re doing everything you can, and sometimes still, kids are going to cry. That’s just the deal. What I’ve realized is that most people get it, and often sympathize. And the ones who don’t? That’s honestly their problem to manage. You’re not a bad parent. You’re just a parent, on a plane, doing your best. And that’s all we can reasonably ask of anyone, with or without child. -KC
Bring Snacks
Before the flight, I asked a Dadvice subscriber for tips since he has flown with his family many times. His number one recommendation was to bring snacks.
While that seems obvious, I was shocked at how effective it was. We typically have standardized times for MK to eat, but we threw that out the window on the flight. We packed a wide variety of snacks, and anytime she started getting fussy, giving her a snack was plan A. It worked really well for us, so I definitely would not leave this one off the list. -SW
Tip While You Travel
Traveling with kids means hauling car seats, pack-n-plays, strollers, and mounds of bags. The thirty minutes before we get through security and drop off checked luggage is genuinely the most stressful part of the entire trip for me. A few years ago I started carrying cash specifically to tip every person who helps us in that crazy window: the shuttle driver who loads our mountain of bags and strollers, the curbside bag guy, the rental car person. From experience, usually five bucks is enough to turn someone’s indifference into helpfulness. This $15-20 bucks per trip leg has bought me more peace of mind than any other travel tip I’ve read or applied. -KC
Book Flights During Times That Keeps Your Baby on Track
On the way to Maui, we had two flights. The first was at 5 a.m. and the second was around 8 a.m. On the way home, we ended up booking a red eye that left at 9 p.m. and then connected home at noon.
My biggest learning is that you have to figure out what type of traveler your baby is. For us, MK barely slept on the way to Hawaii even though we were in the air during her normal nap time. On the way back, she slept almost the entire flight, but Brooke and I barely slept at all. I would not recommend a red eye with a child because we were both exhausted while the baby was well rested, and that led to some challenges once we landed.
Next time, I would aim for a morning flight, just not a 5 a.m. departure. I think there is a sweet spot where your baby can wake up at a normal time and stay close to their regular nap schedule, while you and your spouse are still at full strength going into a long travel day. -SW
Just for Dad: Noise Cancelling Headphones
I remember it like it was yesterday. On holiday, in 2016, at the IFC mall in central Hong Kong. I was finally convinced by a friend to buy a pair of nice noise-cancelling headphones at the Bose store. Alicia and I were dating.
”Just think about it, Kyle,” a friend said. “I know it’s hard to picture it now, but think about life 10 years from now. You’re married, have a couple of kids in the house, chaos of life. You’re going to want a pair of these.” She pointed to a pair of Bose QC-25 noise-cancelling headphones.
I think about that conversation literally every time I put these on to escape the noise and chaos of life at home with four kids, and while traveling, especially on the plane. It was a lot of money back then, but here we are, a decade later, and 5 years into being a dad, and I’ve never once regretted the purchase. -KC
Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.
If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.