Dadvice Weekly #31 / Scanning for Good
Dadvice Weekly - #31
I was driving through Black Forest recently and I found myself reflecting on those digital speed displays on the side of the road. You know the ones: the moment you go even 1 mph over the speed limit, they flash red and blue, scolding you to slow down.
It got me thinking: what if the sign on Burgess didn’t wait for me to fail? What if, instead of a digital finger-wag, it threw a little “party” of green checkmarks and a “thank you!” when I actually followed the law? Bet that every time I drove by I’d be going the limit. It’s funny how the human brain works. Or at least how mine does.
In fatherhood, it’s easy to fall into the “highway patrol” model. Things don’t go how we think they should, and we cruise the hallways waiting for a violation—a spilled drink, a forgotten chore, a sharp tone—so we can flick on the sirens. It’s reactive and exhausting. When our primary interaction with our kids is corrective, it stresses them out, and it taxes our nervous systems. There is a heavy psychological toll to being the “enforcer” 24/7. It keeps us in a state of hyper-vigilance, looking for the negative rather than enjoying the presence of our family.
If you’re not already, give the shift toward positive reinforcement, the “green light” approach, a try. When we intentionally “catch them being good,” we train our own brains to scan for beauty, effort, and cooperation. It moves us from a state of friction to a state of flow. Instead of the adrenaline/cortisol spike of a confrontation, we get the satisfaction of connection. -KC
Podcast: Wow in the World
About a month ago we started listening to Wow in the World on the drive home from school, and it’s quickly become a hit. It’s a science podcast for kids. Every episode covers real research on things kids are into, like dinosaurs, space, and the human body. It’s funny, well-produced, has a huge catalog of episodes, and Bennett laughs out loud at least once per episode. Last week he told me he wants to be a scientist when he grows up, and it’s 100% because of this podcast. Free on any podcast app. -KC
Chewy Recurring for Dog Food
Brooke and I started using Chewy to automate Sadie’s dog food deliveries, and it has been a huge help. Since Sadie has such a sensitive stomach, we can’t just grab any general brand from the grocery store anymore. We need a more specialized food that isn’t always easy to find locally. Setting up autoship has taken all the guesswork out of it. I honestly don’t even know how often it shows up, but somehow it arrives at a reasonable time, right when we’re getting low.
Before this, we had a night where we completely ran out of food and had to give Sadie rice and eggs for dinner because it was too late to run to the store. That was the moment we knew we needed a better system. Since switching to Chewy, every order has been on time, reliable, and exactly what she needs. We haven’t had to scramble once. If you’ve got a dog, especially one with a sensitive stomach, I can’t recommend automating your dog food enough. -SW
Tiger Rice Cooker
We’ve had our Tiger Rice Cooker for a couple years now and it’s become one of the most-used appliances in our kitchen. It does rice perfectly every single time, no babysitting required. But it also steams vegetables and proteins, which we stumbled onto and now use. It holds up to 5.5 cups, so it’s plenty for a family dinner with leftovers. There’s also a genuinely good rabbit hole of rice cooker recipes online if you want to get weird with it. One of my favorite recipes for it is below. –KC
Recipe - Curry Chicken Potato Rice
We just came off about three weeks of rotating sickness in our house, and this recipe really hit the spot, especially when your stomach isn’t really wanting anything.
Throw 3 cups of rice in the rice cooker, fill to the line with chicken stock, add a tablespoon or two of S&B Oriental Curry Powder, chunk up 1-2 potatoes sitting on the counter, and toss in leftover shredded chicken, pot roast, or another protein if you have it. Hit start. Salt to taste after. It’s warm, savory, everyone loves it, and makes enough to pull from all week. S&B is the move here—don’t substitute it, grab a tin from Amazon or the Asian aisle. -KC
Just for Dad: Sonos Ray Sound Bar
A year or two ago my Dadvice would be to turn on subtitles. If turning on subtitles resonates with you, the issue might not be your ears, it might be your sound. I realized our living room just has bad acoustics, so instead of defaulting to subtitles, I started researching sound bars and surround sound options. After talking to friends and a few dadvice subscribers, I landed on the Sonos Ray. It’s not the cheapest option, but it’s certainly not the most expensive, and after a couple of weeks I can confidently say it has completely upgraded our TV experience. I can actually hear and understand dialogue again and I’m watching shows without subtitles for the first time in a long time. -SW
Dadvice Weekly is Kyle and Skyler—two friends in their thirties, living in Colorado, settling into fatherhood and trying to stay sane. Every Tuesday we share what’s working in our homes: gear we use, routines we’ve tested, ideas we’re trying. It could be a recipe, a product that solved a problem, or just what we’re thinking about as dads.
If you have a tip, tried something we mentioned, or just want to say hi, reply to this email or message us on Substack. We read everything, and we’re always looking for what works. Glad you’re here.